More ad-normal brilliants…, and Chili

Okay, so it’s Easter Sunday, I am watching baseball and eating some of my chili…Does it matter that it’s 80 some degrees out here…?  Ah, NO…!  If it did, I would not have made it…DUH…!  I made it with ground turkey.  I added mushrooms again…for some reason I think mushrooms should be added to EVERYTHING…!  Well there is one thing I can think that mushrooms would not work with…and that is my waffles.  Mushroom waffles…Ah, no thank you at all…!  Even with a side of my chili that just doesn’t sound good.  Talk about some major chili powered though…oh it’s good stuff…!  I made good stuff tonight.  So my forehead is wet with sweat…and my mouth wants my beer.  Beer…good beer.  Okay…so if life was easy to figure out as cooking, then it would be a good thing.  It really would be.  Pork chops, waffles and chili…then it would be so much better off.  And no matter what…the cook will eat his mistakes…I promise on that one.  There is enough beer out there to wash it all down…! 

One of the reasons I am talking that way is due to a problem I am having with someone.  It’s that hole attacted to/attactive issue.  I believe I talked about having someone I know come out here to visit me.  Yes, it was a female…not that I have anything against males coming to visit…as long as I work with them, or they need to come here for some reason.  Anyway, I should have just kept her away, and not let her come out here.  It would have been a lot better off…really it would have been.  Now the problem I have is trying to exsplain to someone the difference between not being attacted to them, and yet they are still attactive.  Even if I can not exsplain what is it that makes me not attacted to her, does not mean she isn’t attactive.  I could just tell her “Well I’m a pig, that’s why I’m not attacted to you…”  But even that isn’t the truth.  I really don’t know what it is, other than the fact that she reminds me of my sister.  I didn’t really see that when she was her…so there wasn’t that “I’m kissing my sister” thought going around in my head.  That would have been really nasty to deal with.  (Second bowl of chili)  I have told her that she looks like my sister…and well that has a lot to do with that not attacted to her issue.  And it doesn’t matter that she takes a picture and shows it to people asking them if she looks like her…it’s what I feel…it’s what I “see…”  Why can’t she get it…?  Well she won’t get it because she thinks I will fall madly in love with her…or something like that.  Well I am hear to tell you, I’m not about to madly love anyone…I love my friends, I like them, and I will do what I can to help them, but what I can do has it’s limits right now.  There is no way I am even close to be ready for a relationship.  I have even told her that…and yes I know I am in one with her no matter what…but we aren’t dating.  And no way will I even get close to that topic.  I am not even done with my marriage…it is in the works to getting done…thank goodness…!  There is just a lot of things I need to deal with before I make that move to get a girl friend…one that I am dating I mean.  If I would even know what to do if I was dating someone.

My cat wants me…I am going to play with her for a while…and yeah, I didn’t put everything in here that I wanted to.  I was on the phone, and that helped me lose my thoughts…so we’ll see what happens, and I’ll be back.  LATERS