12/4/03

I’m about as fired up as fired up can be, and well it’s just not right that there isn’t anything I can do about it.  I was suppose to be able to see my kids on Monday…but the case worker left me a message, well she wrote me an e-mail telling me that she is going to not let the visit happen on Monday.  The reason being, she isn’t sure it is right for the kids to see me.  Who the hell is she to tell me what is best for my kids…?  All of us haven’t seen each other for going on nine months now…and well it’s time to just get it over with.  Let my kids see me, and see what happens.  But no, she wants a special hearing set up and whatever else she wants done before I get to see my kids.  At least that slut wife won’t be able to see them either…that burns my ass more than anything though.  She has seen them twice, and the one time I get told I get to see them, it’s changed up on me.  And hell I have already gotten into the Parenting class, I have started the Domestic Violance classes (all 52 weeks of it), I have an appointment Tuesday morning with some Dr. Dingwall, she is the psychological person that she case worker wants me to see.  I’ll be seeing her for what could be 3 hours…!  Talk about PAINFUL…!  What in the hell could we possible talk about for three hours…?  I am sure I am not going to like this, but it’s something I have to do though.  There is so many things I am going to have to watch how I answer.  I’ll need lots of sleep, not a lot of coffee, and a clean mind walking in there Tuesday.  It’s just one more thing I have to do…I know that.  It’s going to so suck though…it really really is.  I am not sure I will have the apartment I will be renting by then, but I’ll need some place to just get away too once I am done there, I know that.  Poor a 12 pack down my tummy and pass out for a while.  That would be a great way to get over that ordeal…! 

Anyway, it’s a duty day…I have the 02-07 watch in the morning.  I’ll be able to sit and surf the net though…so that’s a good thing.  Thinking about going to get some sleep though.  I will try to write more on my watch though…we’ll see…!

Laters…