22 Oct 2003 part 1
Well it is now Tuesday morning here. We did a time change tonight, and well I took to bed early because I wanted to. I still have not been able to really shake that hole depressed mood I am in no matter what amount of sleep I get, or how much coffee I drink. We are but 18 days from San Diego. I would say 17, but hell it really doesnt matter right now. Now that I think it about it, its pretty funny, because I have some music on, and the group I am listening to now is GARBAGE, and well the song is Not My Idea. And the main thing about the song is thats not her idea of a good time. Of course I am not burning down any ones house, but still this isnt a good time out here. I have been beside myself for far to long, I have crushed my thoughts, worried myself beyond belief. Have burnt up the phones line when I was able to get threw, cussed more at that so called than I thought possible. I have even shed more tears these past months than I think I have my hole life. Tears yes my readers I have cried many times, and for many different reasons. Mainly though, its due to my lack of being able to protect my kids, and over how much I miss them. But soon enough that will change. I will be back in San Diego, and I will be able to see them. I know it wont happen over night, me being able to see them that is but I am hoping that within a week after I get back I will be able to see them. I will be taking leave once I get to San Diego. Yeah I know I talked about leaving from Hawaii, but there is so much I can do with the money that I will pay out for a plane ticket and then the hotel, and a rental car. So Ill just wait it out, and deal with the last five days from Hawaii to San Diego as best as I can. The great thing about that, we wont be doing a hole lot, so if I so chose to do so, I can do nothing but hide out in my rack for those days. I guess one things I get to look forward to though is that I will be changing duty sections. I will still be able to make it to the ships Christmas party. It should be really nice this year. I didnt go to the one last year. That was for a few reasons, number one was due to that I was only on the ship for three weeks, and well I still didnt know anyone. It would have been hard to ask the in laws to come baby sit for me so I could go to the party, and well I didnt want to take that thing with me. Not that she would have gone with me anyway. But the prices this year for a ticket is 10 dollars and well I am going to get a room at the place too. Yeah, its 99 dollars for the room, but you know what, I would rather pay that price for a place to sleep than get a DUI. I think I am going to get really wasted that night ! Or was intoxicated as I can with the money that I have with me. Anyone care to join me ? Its only 10 dollars for one extra ticket. Of course we have to dress formal but hell I look good in a tie! Just hope my ties are still with me. I will have to try to find them in all that crap that is packed in storage. I had some really nice silk Loony Tone ties. I like Marvin the Martin, and well most of my ties had him on them. That and taz. My mom thinks I am more like taz than anything else. I like Marvin because he makes things go BOOM ! Good things happen when things go BOOM Or is that boom boom ? Well boom boom in the night yeah LOL.
Okay, so maybe I am doing a little better I dont know. Its a pretty inter-resting night here though. We are getting some rough waters from some storm that is out here. Not sure where its located, but we are taking some pretty good rolls. I do alright with the side to side motion or up and down. Keep it one of those two, all is well. But you add them all at once, not good for Rick. But sleep, and food makes things a lot better for me. I would say we are taking at least 6 degree rolls. Nothing to bad but its enough to make you take your time walking down the passageway.