10/18/03 pt2

.  Something else that was also in the paper work, was the fact that she was given a choice of 120 days in jail, or 120 days in rehab.  Well she checked in on the start of September only to walk out three days, or two days later.  I don’t have the paper in front of me…but then I get this e-mail asking me to pay back 226.80 dollars that she got for food…and that she was suppose to be in the Point Loma center for rehab.  Have not hear jack crap from those people since they asked the command master chief if I was still on the ship.  And of course that is when I found out I have brig time coming.  There was nothing of that in the paper work from the courts…it’s all just a lie that she is making up as she goes alone.  Make the bad guy…I’m the one that hurt the kids, I’m the one that made her do drugs, I’m the one that kept getting her knocked up.  Anything else…?  I’m sure we can name more…but that goes back to poor pity me thing.  Fuck pity…I just need a…well I really don’t know what I need right now.  A hug would be nice…someone to just hold me, and listen to me…or better yet, just let me cry and sleep a good night’s rest.  Wake up in the morning and know that someone wanted to be with me, because they wanted to be…But yeah, that is to much to ask I know…

     Okay, let me try to make this a little lighter…here…see my lighter, I’ll lite it up for you.  That will help with the light, yes…?  Oh wait, it’s a bit hard to see a butane flame.  Had I had my Zippo in my pocket that would be a different story…I do have my flash light though…I could use that.  Then again, none of you would see what it looks like.  But it is bright, I will tell you that much.  Very much bright…!  Ask the people that have had it flashed in their eyes, or looked into it while playing with it.  It’s nice being the Force Protection Assent.  I get to play with all the neat gear I have, and well I get to make sure I have some nice things for myself to use.  Of course you didn’t hear that from me…but still, life goes on.  We are making our way now to Guam though.  Not very fast might I add.  We busted across the Indian ocean at 22 to 25 knots, and now we aren’t even making 20 knots.  That is like messed up…!  But I guess there is something wrong with the cruiser that we are playing line backer for, and we have to wait for her broke ass…!  I hate waiting for other ships…I really do.  It shouldn’t make us late for pulling into Guam, but still…lets get the hell going, and make this trip go faster…!  Damn people we have been gone long enough.  Never the less…we are making it back…finally.

     I know this is short…but I will write more in the morning.  I am going to bed, put my head phones on, read, and just do nothing for a while.  So take care, and I’ll come back to update more.  I’m sure I won’t be in a better mood…Guess I shouldn’t say that, but it’s the truth.  So until then…