Saturday October 18th pt1

     Hello once again my readers, and let me start off by saying “I’m sorry for being quiet for so long.”  There has been a few things going on here on the ship though that kept me from sending e-mails out, and when there is no e-mail going out, there is no updates to post.  But that isn’t the only reason why there hasn’t been any updates…I really haven’t felt like writing.  I guess I’m getting tired of the poor pity me entries, and it always seems to turn out that way when I go back and read what I write.  I very seldom read what I write before I sent it.  I write, and then I send…and I come back in a day or so and read what I did write.  Only to go…damn that was stupid, or holy shit, yet another poor pity you entry.  Who cares that we are but three weeks away from San Diego…who cares what I feel, or what I feel right now.  Who cares that it feels like I am under the pressing thumb of the biggest case of depression in my life.  Hell it’s all my fault anyway…so what does it matter…!  And there I go again…see, it’s all about poor pitiful Rick.  I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do.  Even after getting off the ship and having a pretty nice day walking around Singapore, I still feel this way.  I have been so tired…I just want to be left alone, and I have no desire to do a damn thing…if it wasn’t for the fact that I have to eat, I think I would try to stay in bed for the next three weeks.  But I don’t think that is going to work.  Part of the reason I am feeling this way though is due to a letter I got in the mail the other day.  There was a hearing back on the first of October about my kids.  It was the sixth month review…and well come to find out that “so called” is suppose to be pregnant again.  Who the hell knows who is the sperm donor, but it sure isn’t ME…!  I have been hearing too that if a female is pregnant, the male can’t divorce her.  You wanta bet me…!?  There is no way I am going to let that slug be in my life any longer.  I am going to cut the lines, and let it go.