Reply to unsigned note

I have been thinking about this for a couple days, and I wasn’t going to send some nasty finger pointing posted to my caretaker about the unsigned note that was left in my dairy. I have a really good idea who left the note, and I will say one thing right now about this…I don’t care what you write, it’s a free dairy, and I have left my dairy open to all notes…but you should have enough of a back bone to leave your name next time. You said your note wasn’t a hate note…and I agree it wasn’t one. But no one needs to whisper anything in my ear to make me feel better. Right now there is only two things that will make me feel better. One of those is making that turn east, and heading the hell back to San Diego. The second would be wrapping my hands around a nice .45 caliber pistol and having a box of ammunition to expend down range. I am still confused though how you can say what you said. When I tell my friend I love them, it doesn’t mean I am going to run off an be with them, or have them come to San Diego. Who knows what will happen in my life. And using someone…you haven’t the first clue about what being used is all about. Yes, I flirt…I am a huge flirt. I will admit that time and time again…Right now I am not “in love” with anyone. And right now, “in love” is the last thing I need. I have far to much crap to deal with back in San Diego to even try to think about being “in love.”

If you are so curios why didn’t you write me an e-mail…? I know you have that as well. And if you don’t have it saved anywhere, it is on my diary’s front page. But wait, you wanted to leave that note to make people think more about talking to me…I know how that goes. You don’t want to leave a hate note, but why not leave “Warning a Player Note.” That is one thing I am not…There is nothing to gain by playing a person. I know I said something in one of my entries about having a crush…I don’t even know if you read that one…I really don’t care what you read to make you jump to the thoughts you did. But just because I think someone is sweet and kind is what I feel. It’s not something I can act on. I have far to many things to do to even try to act on my feelings. And you know what, I don’t have to justify my love for someone to you. I don’t have to justify a damn thing to you, or to anyone for that matter. This is MY LIFE…understand that. MINE…not yours. I know I have done some things that have hurt people, and I am sorry for doing them. When I am able to, I do tell them I am sorry. Life goes on okay…! So if I tell Jessie, or Teresa, or Kate, or Mell, or Lauren, or who ever else I want to “Love ya,” it is for reasons that I know, and only I know. It’s none of your business, not will it ever be any of your business. Bitter I am not trying to sound, but that remark you said about them whispering in my ear, that was the wrong thing to say to me. Support from friends is an important thing, and when a person has been separated from his kids like I have been, on a deployment like I am on now, and dealing with all the crap that keeps coming up in San Diego, I have my friends there to help me. I thank them for the help they give me…and I love them for that as well.

I believe I have said enough about this…but who knows, maybe I will have to come back and write some more. I don’t know. I am sure there will be more notes left, and that is fine. Go ahead, leave your notes. And you know what…hold on for this one, but thank you for coming by and reading my dairy. It’s there to be read, and well…you have done just that again.

Take care all, and I’ll write more again later.