a week and two days

I think I’m gonna be sick. 

Stupid reports.  They’re so damn time-consuming yet I learn NOTHING and write terribly!  Whatever it takes to graduate…sigh….

I’m not going to write a valedictorian speech.  I have nothing to say.  I also know that I wouldn’t be able to speak in front of thousands of people without sounding shakey… therefore, I will accept defeat for the sake of the class of 2004 and give it to somebody who can deliver it well… or rather, not make a fool out of myself and not waste my time writing something that I don’t believe in or something that somebody else wrote for me.  There’s no point in giving a speech that somebody else wrote… unless you’re the most amazing orator since… Cicero…. or something….. or unless you give a disclaimer at the beginning informing them.  Whatever.  Leave me alone.  Go away.  

I guess I can’t go to the concert.  I’m disappointed… but C’est la vie.  I suppose I could work something out, but I’m not willing to put in the effort.  Put out the effort?  In? Out? 

It’s weird reading about former elementary school peers in the newspaper… one is going to Yale… the other is a big-shot athlete.  All I get is a bad little picture with the word “undecided” underneath it, but I can’t complain… that’s all I deserve.  I hate this time of year THIS YEAR.  It’s so fricken’ scary. 

Every conversation that I’ve had with my brother in the past month has consisted of “So… I don’t really have anything to say… I’ll see you in a little while” 

The more I research this disease, I start to think that I actually do have it.  I think there are identifiable stressors, though… so NO.  It’s going to be a tough one to do.  I hate to make people think poorly of me, but if that’s what these people have to live through, then so be it…