sausalito, ca

I WON’T GO.  I WON’T I WON’T I WON’T…I won’t.  You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. 

Please don’t take my sunshine away. 

She got huffy today because I said that I don’t like being here.  It’s not that I don’t like being here, but I’m under so much stress right now and she just doesn’t get it.  She won’t leave me alone… She bought me a pen.  A PEN.  Ah, yes… after that lovely discussion we had today… (you’re 18, you can leave now) pens make everything just fine and dandy.  I don’t even like pens.  It’s a fricken’ writing utensil… how does she expect me to react?  GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh I CAN”T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER.  I HAVE TWO WEEKS TO DECIDE.  I THINK I’M GOING TO VOMIT… after I sleep… and shower… and disappear. 

Time is moving slowly… and then somebody hits the fast forward button where I don’t need it. 

“I’m under a lot of stress right now, just leave me alone.”  “Okay… is it English?”  I’ve never felt like hitting somebody as much as I do right now.  It’s unfathomable.  She makes me sick.  That is just disgusting.  Fuck her. 

My relationships with my acquaintances are deteriorating… I don’t have enough energy or PATHY to talk to them.  I feel detached.  Not like I did before December.  I’ll regret it later.