i suddenly realized we’re all in this together

 so things are a bit better than the last time i wrote, largely thanks to snowpocalypse which dumped over 3 feet of snow and gave me 4 glorious snow days from school AND work so i was actually able to get caught up. now that just needs to happen at least once every 2 weeks until may.

i just finished my OB rotation, which i had been dreading and panicking about so bad. i could not be more surprised to say that i actually really enjoyed it.  i learned a ridiculous amount about all things pregnancy/babies in 3 weeks.  i got to watch one vaginal birth and one c-section, both of which were AWESOME. i couldn’t believe how emotional it made me, especially the vaginal birth. it was a 21 year old girl and the father of the baby (who she had also had a 3 year old with) was murdered right before she found out she was pregnant.  the father’s sister was there and everyone was crying and it was just SO intense.  i spent the next day taking care of her and the baby she talked about him to me a lot, about how the baby looked exactly like him and part of her loved that but part of her just didn’t want to be reminded anymore…

now of course i’m panicking about starting my med-surg rotation next week, but i’m trying to remind myself that every single thing i thought i couldn’t do turned out fine.  so much of what i was terrified of has turned out GOOD and what’s more, i am sure that nursing is turning me into a better person than i ever thought i would be.  that being said, i still don’t feel confident that i can complete this program and actually become a nurse.  i’m so unsure of every single move i make, and i’m just hoping that gets better with time.

my OB instructor was incredibly amazing and perfect and exactly what i needed at the moment. her comment on my final clinical paperwork was this: "I can see that you are making a strong tie between theory and practice.  Your critical thinking skills are very strong so don’t be so quiet!  Speak up and give those answers because you, my dear, know this!  good luck the rest of the way…I know you will do well."