and it’s just not like me

 so things with the boy are very, very good. we treat each other well and that is new for me. it’s been 2.5 months and we haven’t had a single fight yet, probably largely in part because when i get moody he doesn’t let it turn into a fight, he just hugs me and tells me he loves me and how can i make that a fight? and our relationship is fun–we still go on dates all the time and we are both the most competitive people you will ever meet so everything is a serious competition, from volleyball to scrabble to rock paper scissors. we went to summer camp for grownups by livingsocial in upstate new york a few weeks ago and it was pretty much exactly what it sounds like and so awesome. we’ve been hitting up fairs and are planning on the big E this friday, went to toby keith/eric church concert last week and tailgated with his friends all day long…it’s just fun.

but of course, i can only have one category of my life go right at a time so the rest of life is extremely effed up. i’ve come to the realization that i will never be able to do anything with my degree and i have given up searching in my field.  i’m now looking for any type of administrative/office job that i can find and contemplating on going back to school, possibly for a paralegal certificate.  i really felt like nutrition was my passion and i really wanted to change people’s lives like jillian micheals but now i just feel hopeless and i’m scared i can’t even get hired to answer phones and make copies (and guys, i have no idea how to make copies). and i’m frustrated that i worked my ass off to have the highest gpa in my major at uconn and now i’m so stuck.

there’s more, i could write about how awful my job is right now (gymnastics), or how my body seems to be falling apart but i think that’s enough complaining for now. i’m babysitting jordyn and aly and they just went to bed and soon their parents will be here and i’m heading to dan’s to crawl into bed with him and try my best not to think.