Am I?

"Rand," she shook her head as she spoke my name, "Rand, there is something that I have to tell you."
My best friend N was looking at me, I could see that there was something big that she wanted to say to me…something important?

"You know I will give you shit straight up. I wont bullshit you about anything. Thats why you and I are best friends. Thats why I am going to tell you to forget her. She is not worth your time Rand. She really isn’t."

With that sentence, I could tell that there was something wrong. Something that I was unaware of. I asked her, I begger her to tell me. All she would say was that there was nothing that she knew that I did not.

That was last Thursday the 5th. Friday night, my girlfriend and I got into a mjor fight. Another one in the long string of them the last eight weeks. We ended it. I told her that I would walk away from her, I would never speak to her again.

Silence.

I asked her if there was anything that she wanted to say to me. She shook her head no. I asked again and again….nothing.

When I left, I promised myself that I would not text her, I would not call her….I would leave it up to her to contact me again. That lasted all of an hour at most. I texted her, I told her that she was not just my girlfriend, but my best friend.

We talked for a bit. Saturday afternoon came and I went over to her place and we spent the rest of the day and night together. We had some amazing love making. It was by far one of the best that we have ever had. Sunday morning came, and another round of great sex followed. We spent the rest of Sunday together.

Sunday night she asked me to go home, to spend the night at my place. I agreed.

Monday night she wanted to spend the evening together with her friend that is going away for three weeks. I said ok. At eleven pm, she sent me a text saying that she was going to go home soon because it was getting late.

My soon to be ex-girlfriend is cheating on me.

I drove by her place at 11:30, her car was not there. At midnight, still no car. At 1 am, still no car.

I was not able to sleep…I slept for an hour and a half…I drove by her place again…still no car. I drove by her friend’s place that is leaving for three weeks…all the lights were off there…and my girlfriend’s car was not there. At 4:30 her car was still not home. And again at 5:30.

Perhaps there is a very valid reason why she did not go home last night and take care of her three dogs. Perhaps there is a very valid reason for it all.

But I doubt it.

"The only time goodbye is hard is when you never intend to say hello to them again."