Oh wait, there’s more!

And so she hath returned.

It’s my birthday! I’m not really into my birthday. I don’t really enjoy all the attention. It’s cute but it’s a little overwhelming at the same time. I hate when Chanel stares at my face from really close up. Especially from bad angles. DON’T LOOK AT ME. AVERT YOUR EYES.

I’ve been thinking about writing, lately. I don’t know. It’s kind of a constant thought. I just. Can’t really bring myself to do it. It’s overwhelming to think about. I have a few ideas rolling around my head, but I feel like all of them will sound dumb out loud.

At work, I was asked if I’d like to do a GSA type club/support group/weekly meeting for the students. I work with college students who have IEPs, typically they have ASD (autism, asperbergers) and/or ADHD, and some of them have addiction issues or behavior issues, as well. We happen to have a rather large trans/queer/bi/etc community within our student body at the moment. So one of the therapists asked me if I’d be interested in doing that. I told her I would, of course, love to do that. I really feel fulfilled by my job, and it’s so amazing. Sometimes it’s insane, and stressful, but it pays off, and it’s never life or death. Money, hopes, tears, but not life/death. Ha. At the very least, it’s a loving, caring community of people for our students to “fail” among and learn how to be adults with. It’s a fine line to toe, because as staff members we are often in an authority position. However, our students are all adults. They legally make their own decisions, we can’t keep them in our program, we can’t make them do things they don’t want to do. We have to think of these people as peers, with disabilities. They’re lacking life skills. They can be taught! I feel like I actually make a difference in people’s lives, and it’s so amazing. My students are so grateful and sincere with me, they appreciate what I do for them, and they listen to what I have to say. It’s just so great feeling valued. Anyways. I hope it turns out to be a successful group.

Another work thing, I’m shockingly excited about the fall semester and busy season. I LOVE Summer, but I feel listless and lazy and like I want to get things accomplished. I want to get caught back up in it. And I just love my work environment. I love my supervisor. And my coworkers. Everyone is SO supportive and so amazing. I missed a deadline for/with one of my students, and I was so upset! Everybody told me things like, “It happens!” “He could have caught it, too!” “He should have known it was coming up!” I feel like people actually value my input, and the relationships I’m building with students and coworkers are worthwhile. AHHH JOB SATISFACTION! Is this adulting?!

I’m just rambling about random things at this point. I apologize. Probably nobody is even reading these. lol.. man, I miss OD in its prime. It was an actual community. I had so many CLOSE friends. People whose lives I knew intimately. People whose DIARIES I routinely read. It was amazing. Knowing so many people on such a level, hearing the ins and outs of their lives, sharing their memories. I have friends from OD OG on my FB these days, and some of them have kids graduating high school who I remember celebrating their 3rd birthdays. A friend whose son just got his first job, I’ve known them since he was 6 months old. I remember so many moments from his life. I have pictures of him somewhere that were sent in xmas cards and kept in shoe boxes. Baby at 3 months. Baby at 6 months. Baby at 1 year. Baby at 2. School photos. Graduation notices.

It feels so fast, sometimes. Kasin is 13. How did that happen? He was just a little guy a minute ago. I feel like all I did was blink and.. he was huge. He IS huge. That child is a BEAST. But in my mind, he is so CLEARLY 4. He’s just a little fella in my head. Man, this is the other thing about birthdays. Haha… the reminiscing.

That’s about enough, don’t you think?