comfortably numb

this diary ticks and much as it tocks. it always lets me start a story but never allows me to finish. i can’t part with you, dear opendiary, as much as i’d like to, i wish you would allow me to update more, so i’m not stuck two months later with nothing to say.

this is december in a paragraph;

dear december;

it’s cold outside today. i anticipated snow on christmas day and look what i got ! snow. not nearly enough to keep me inside though. a blanket of frost to freeze my palms, if you will. this december was magical, though i wish to not relive it. my acceptance to pratt institute has been the highlight of the month, i am happy that i will not die in this town and i am happy that i will not continue living in this town for much longer. i can do it, seven months and i’m gone, but i’ll take this december with me, because it’s done so much to tie up loose ends, it has. christmas eves eve was golden. i visted my dear love christopher, jalky fonar as i like to remember him. i saw what was to be his legacy, a grave in the suburbs of new york, in a very beautiful cemetary. i felt safe there, comfortable, comfortably numb maybe. i feel some sort of clouser knowing i can always go there and rest and chat with him. and i will. this december. this december was full of things to keep me out of balance. not off but out. it may have even restored some sort of fate in believing in love and love returned. i know that this years december will be nothing like last but i’ll wait for it, i’ll keep a head out looking for it. and when i’m not paying much attention it’ll come and i’ll just blink my eyes and say “my my, what took you so long?”