i want to cry

        Ryan is now 7 months old..he was born nov. 15 2006…after 21 hours of labor he was born…..it was one of the most happy moments in my life…..if it wasn’t for him my life would be totally different….i’m living through really tough times and i get worried sometimes. George and i have so many problems and we can barely live together. He gets mad at everything and i can’t stand the way he talks to me and the way he tells me to do things…….its hard to live with him. Now i know he doesn’t love me, he’s just with me because of ryan, no matter what he tells me. Now i’m not blind and i can see clearly. I love him very much but every night i’m crying over him i wish this was over. All he wants it’s to be legal in this country and to be with his son, but he doesnt’ care about me. I I just told George about 2 weeks ago about my story, that i was raped when i was 9….and it hurts so much to actually think back at those things and see that it was my dad’s fault that it happened to me…i was only wishing that george would support me or say something to confort me and tell me something but no he just wanted to know who did it and that’s it and since i din’t tell him we never spoke of that anymore.I felt really upset that he did that.. the next day i was talking to lmy brother alex and somehow we came to that topic and he told me that he was raped too……..it made me feel even worst cause my brother was freaking 3 years old and it makes me hate my dad even more because none of this would had happened to us if he had been there for us…now i think about what would life had been if we hadn’t gone thru that. its really not something i ever talked about, i only told cinthya and Jose Caporal but nobody else until i told george and now my brother. its hard to talk about something that hurts so much.