life is hard and cruel

IN my last entry i told u i broke up with Jose… well i had the most miserable weekend of my life. on friday i was walking with Nadia and Chaoxia and we saw him with some chick in his car. On saturday i went to his house because my dad had to drop off some things, well we stayed to eat cause his mom wanted us to stay..it was horrible being there and we weren’t even talking to each other. then on sunday i went to church and he was there. i saw him 3 days in a row after now seeing him for a month and after not talking to him for 3 weeks, i felt embarrased because i hanged up on his face last time we talked and i told him not to look for me cause i wouldn’t look for him or talk to him, i feel so upset..i love him and i want to be with him but it’s all over now. and there is nothing i can do about it. i don’t know what to do. my life has no sense all i do is be home and study and draw and read. There is nothing exciting to it and i don’t like that, it only makes me think more about Jose and makes me more upset.