Freeform Self-Manipulation
It’s really been so long, hasn’t it? Right around ten days, I guess….if my counting hasn’t completely failed me, as it has been known to do. Anyway. I suppose it’s time for a li’l bit of an update. Hooray (enthusiasm not included). Sorry….couldn’t help myself.
How about I just shut up and get on with it? Yeah, good choice.
Going back to last time, Shera had her gall bladder surgery, and all went as well as could be expected. She is now gall bladder-less. At this point, the worst of the recouperation period is over, too. Not that there was much of a choice, because college started back up yesterday, so she had to be ready for that no matter what. She’s still experiencing some pain, but far less than a week ago (obviously…duh me). Give her a little more time, and she’ll be good as new.
For me, last week meant the choice of many long hours. From Tuesday-Friday, I would wake up around 7:30am, start work at 10am, leave work at 7pm, drive to Shera’s house, and get home usually sometime after midnight. It was worth every second, of course. It was nothing compared to what she’d been going through, so it was the rock-bottom least I could do, y’know? Besides….I had a nice three day weekend to catch up on sleep. And I even got paid for Monday! As I told C.J. Monday afternoon, "Go, Go Gadget, real, live, full-time job!" Yeah….we’re incredible nerds. As if that wasn’t obvious before now…
Anywho.
The new job is going well so far. It isn’t like we’re doing the actual job yet, anyway. The training course has, thus far, been preposterous more than helpful. Although, I must say, it has given me plenty of chances to show off my superior intellect and listening skills. Which is always nice for the old and busted ego. Really, it seems like they’d rather just throw us out there on the phones with a pat on the back and a, "good luck." And it would just about be all we’d need. There have been little details here and there that have been helpful, but mostly I just feel like I’m stealing the company’s money (sounds familiar….oh, right…..it’s what I was doing to Sears for the last six or eight months). What I am finding, however, is that I feel less and less like the services the cable company provides are actually worth the money. Maybe that’s just my natural reaction to the corporate brainwashing companies do to new-hires. I dunno. It probably is, because I thought it was totally worth it before I started working there and was paying $165 a month for cable and internet (yeah, I know…..but I have a DVR and all the movie channels, which are the two most important parts…..next to the internet, of course). But that’ll all be free as soon as they get it all situated for us. Which is nice, because rates just went up and so now my bill would be over $170. Damn I’m smooth. Perfect timing, eh? Not to mention I get a nice 18% discount off my cell phone bill per month. Where the hell was that when I was running up $600 bills with Verizon (those fuckers…).
Anyway… This job is going to be very profitable for me. Aside from the $480/week normal salary, we get a commission of 11% or 12% on every new installation sale we make. So, for instance, on my own bill, the commission would’ve been about twenty bucks or so (it’s taken from the total of the monthly charge plus the installation cost….inflated numbers, what?). Most will be smaller than that, but they’ll god damn sure add up. So, if I’m as good at this as I know I can be…..I’ll be raking it in. Life is (almost) good right now…
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "Possession" by Evans Blue, "Happens All the Time" by Cold, and "Lithium" by Evanescence
Currently, I’m in the midst of a recurring argument with the little voice in the back of my head. You know…the voice of insecurity, doubt, neediness, and all other things bad? Yeah, that voice. It’s a discussion that I’ve had with him many, many times over the years. Perhaps sometime soon I’ll actually bother to verbalize it….though, if I’m not mistaken, I actually did verbalize it a few nights ago. Not that it stops it. Nothing could because there aren’t any real ways to get answers. It’s the "slippery slope" kind of thing that, if I let it, could really, really depress the god damn fucking hell out of me. So you can understand why I’m arguing with the voice…li’l trouble making bastard that he is. And to think….he’d left me alone for like six weeks until this. ::sigh:: All I can do is continue the fight…
To update the Dave’s Ridiculous Weight Loss Watch: Over the weekend, I discovered that I’d gotten down to 193 pounds. That meant I had lost about five pounds in the preceeding ten days. Yeah, I know. Not good. I’ve put a couple back on (to 195) in the last three or four days to stem the tide, though. Or maybe that’s just because I’m wearing two shirts, two pairs of shorts, and two pairs of socks, as opposed to just boxers when weighing 193. But nevermind that! That is entirely inconsequential, dammit. This press conference is over!
I guess that’s really most of the last of what I have tonight. To end, I must reawaken the quote monger within….
Okay, there we go. I’ve been re-reading Blood and Gold by Anne Rice lately to try and stem some of the boredom during breaks at work, and even late at night at home. Pretty much, the book is the story of Marius, the ancient Roman vampire, former keeping or Akasha and Enkil. Since much of his story had been told through Lestat, Pandora, and Armand, Blood and Gold exists to fill in the (large) gaps. Anyway… I came across a quote in it a few nights ago that, for whatever reason, I really, really loved.
"I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love."
I can’t even pinpoint what it is about that quote that strikes me so much. It just….feels true, I guess. I dunno. I’m sure it’ll hit me at some point. Everyone else does (zing!). Wow, that was bad. Ok, now this press conference really is over. I go.
Sayonara.