The Century Mark
How bad did it get? I came ever so close to falling asleep during the Titans vs. 49ers game today. Not so bad, right? Sleeping on the couch during a semi-exciting football game? Oh, no. I was at the game. Yes, that’s right. I almost dozed off during the (poorly played and boring) first half of a football game from my seat in section 328. That’s how bad it got.
Reason? I’ve worked 100 hours the last two weeks, with 56 of that coming this past week. This included shifts of 9, 11, 12, 12, and 12 hours. I had Wednesday off (and Thanksgiving, too, of course), but I spent Wednesday up on a ladder putting lights up on my mother’s house. Rest? Who needs it. Certainly not I. That shit’s overrated anyway. Actually, the lack of a good, long sleep-in day is fucking killing me. I haven’t had one in, I don’t know, two weeks? And I won’t get one until Saturday (gods willing). And I get to go into work at 7 a.m. tomorrow. If I was a morning person, I wouldn’t care. But we all know I’m the picture of a night owl. So this ridiculously early shit doesn’t jive with me. Though, at least I didn’t have to work the retarded 5:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift on Friday. No, I just worked 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. And did it again the next day. Man, I whine like a little girl. Oh well. It’s just the metal exhaustion talking. At least this past Friday was better than the day after Thanksgiving last year, when I worked a 16 hour shift at Dell. Now that sucked. I know it was just answering phones at a desk all day, but I swear to you, that was many times more exhausting than running my ass off and lifting heavy items for 12 hours. No contest at all. I don’t think anyone can fathom how exhausted Dell left me every single day. It was such a great relief when I walked out of that fucking place for the last time. Like I’d been excused from Hell and given a pass into Purgatory. Hoo-rah.
I don’t think there’s any danger of me straying from the scheduled 40 hours this week. I want my precious time away from Sears this week. After spending more time there than at home last week (by a wide, wide margin….I basically came home only to sleep…even on my days off), I just want to sit on my couch in the evenings.
Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox: "Batdance" by Prince (I’m as confused about where this one came from as anyone), "Crushed" by Collide, and "Truth" by Seether
I had a line of thought about a week or so ago when I was watching George Carlin’s newest HBO special. He was talking about suicide, and I started thinking about how shitty it would be to want to die, but be phobic of death. There isn’t really any way around that, is there? You’re kind of stuck just wanting to die, but unwilling to do anything about it. That would have to suck.
I think I’ve figured out why it is that people believe so strongly in an afterlife (i.e. Heaven). Thinking that death is it, the end, is truly frightening. In my case, it’s knowing that death is the end all…and that’s still scary. The thought of such nothingness…that’s terrifying. I dunno if I’m even making sense (because, honestly, I’m having trouble following this Amtrak of thought), but there’s a point in there somewhere. I guess what I was saying is that, even thought you’ll probably never catch me believing it, I can start to see why people believe so much that there absolutely is an afterlife….because the alternative (nothingness) is too scary to even want to consider.
And it seems the energy drink fueling my brain has exhausted itself down to zero. So it looks like this is the place to leave off. Hmm…and such morbidity (is that even a word?). Oh well. Just the only random thought trains I could remember to write about, I guess. Well, those and Colorado getting run off their home field by Nebraska Friday. Fuck, I hate Nebraska. Goddamn Husker sons of bitches. That game reminded me too much of years gone by (long gone), when 30-3 wins were common for Nebraska in this game. Oh well. At least there’s (another) drubbing by Texas to look forward to in the Big 12 Championship game (thanks to Iowa St. choking their chance at it away for the second straight year….good job, Cyclones….good job). Ok, really. I’m outta here now. Bleh.
Sayonara.