Climate Controlled Cranium

Today was one of those days where I wonder exactly how happy I am with my life.  I was fine when I woke up this morning.  I was fine throughout most of the day at work today.  But around three o’clock…something just fell out of place.  I grew entirely frustrated with…something.  I don’t really even know what.  I found myself openly debating whether or not I was wasting away…allowing myself to be less than what I should.  Why I’d be debating that is beyond me.  I know it’s true.  But perhaps it was the lack of effort on behalf of my two co-workers that was pissing me off.  There were multiple occasions where short smoke-breaks turned into half-hour excursions.  Or maybe it was my boss leaving over an hour early (an hour before I left, after having come in an hour after me and not being seen more than twice all day).  Take your pick.

Or maybe…just maybe…it was jealousy.  That’s something I haven’t really felt much recently.  Not in at least four months.  Lemme explain…   One of the women at work is pretty hot (well, she isn’t the only one, but most of ’em are much too young or are otherwise untouchable).  She isn’t like drop dead gorgeous or anything, but she just looks like she has a wild streak in her.  And it makes her hot to all of us stockroom guys.  Well, we all flirt with her in varying degrees.  Me the least, because it just isn’t like me, plus we haven’t been on speaking terms more than a few weeks…mostly because I don’t talk to many people at work.  She’s thirty years old, thus making me closest to her in age, by a good four years.  But I get the vibe from her that I just wouldn’t even be an option…and that pretty much any of the other guys would.  It shouldn’t bug me…really it shouldn’t.  But sometimes, it gets me good.  Not necessarily that she, in particular, doesn’t want anything to do with me.  To me it somehow turns into all femaliens.  That’s just how my brain works sometimes.

But at least I had a fun time letting the frustration out.  There’s no remedy like throwing plastic hangers into a compacter as hard as you can.  The satisfying shattering that sounds like glass breaking works wonders.

Now Playing in Dave’s Mental Jukebox:  "Falling" by Staind, The Opening Theme From Mega Man 2, and "Happens All the Time" by Cold (CD out tomorrow!)

The last time I did a life update, I got a ticket for having expired tags.  Before I could get them renewed…I got another one driving to work on Saturday.  So…two tickets in three days, a total of $245.  Fabulous.  At least my car did pass the emissions test the next Monday so I could renew the damn tags.

I went back into my own personal archives tonight and read some of my second story ever written, The Price of Happiniess.  It was worse than I remember it, but something about it struck me.  I wrote it during my sophomore year of college, but reading it…the way I had Mitch talking to Christina was exactly the way I talked to Mo a year later.  I never realized that until tonight.  And it was kind of scary.  As if I could see into the future back then without knowing it.  The truth, of course, is that the way he talked was just how I was then, and Mo happened to fit that type where I was able to talk that way.  Or maybe it really was foresight.  Who knows.  Just kind of spooky-like.

On second thought, maybe today went as it did because it rained all day long.

I go.

Sayonara.