Strange, The Way Things Happen

 Right before I left to go to Mike’s birthday party a couple of weeks ago, my mother commented on the fact that I was bringing a lot of alcohol to the party.  She said, "Jenna, you’re not going to meet anyone if you’re wasted!"  I replied to her with, "Mom, who am I going to meet?  It’s a gay birthday party…"  We had a laugh.

I may have spoken too soon.

I wrote previously that I had met and fooled around with a guy that night.  I really didn’t think it would be anything more than that.  I may have been wrong.  Since that night, Jeremy and I have talked every day.  I saw him last week, and he’s coming out here on Friday to see me.  It’s way too early, I don’t know how I feel yet…but there’s something special about him.  He’s very attractive and very thoughtful and has a sweet, gentle nature.  There are a lot of negatives about him though, that logically would not want to make me get involved with him…but those negatives are pretty superficial things.

For instance, he doesn’t have a steady job or any money to speak of and he’s 28.  He lives in a converted 2 bedroom apartment with 2 other people and one of them is a drug dealer.  He never went to college.  Right now he does odd jobs, handyman/carpentry work wherever he can get it which keeps him busy most days.  He doesn’t have it all figured out, he’s not on a steady path…and I just feel like I might be light years ahead of him, which I know will create problems for us–or me.

Money and success isn’t the most important thing to me, but I want to be able to go out and do things; I want to be wined and dined; I want to be with someone who seeks to provide.  

He wants better for himself and he says he’s looking for something steady, but it just makes me more cautious than usual.  I mean, I’m extra cautious anyway because I have my walls up from Kevin, but this uncertainty about his life or career…it bugs me.  Part of me feels like I shouldn’t even think about getting involved.

Time will tell, I suppose.  I enjoy him, and I’m taking it slow.