Nothing really

So I was going to start doing a work task. But I got a cuppa instead. I’ll sit and drink it while it’s hot and write a few words before moving on to do some actual work. Went for a walk/jog with my friend this morning. It was beautiful out there! I was very tempted to not go to work today. Seriously considering leaving at lunchtime. Eyes are closing now. Ugh. Not this again! Keep sipping. I walk in this place every day now and wonder when my last day will be. I think of asking my boss how long he wants to keep me. But I never do. I just come to work, goof off a lot, and collect a pay check, such that it is. To be honest, part of me still likes the routine of going to work. I may bitch about it but still, it’s consistency. I can exist without consistency for a time, but eventually I crave routine.  I don’t think I know how to relax well. When I do take a random day off or when I go on vacation I return not rested. Maybe that’s true for everyone. But I just don’t know how to use time off wisely. I’m rambling here. I just looked at my sister’s FB page. The last post on 6/1/15 was her obit. Miss her. 3 years gone. I look forward to being with her again after this life. I’m in no rush to leave here. But the spiritual afterlife seems so appealing at times without the constraints that this physical life keeps us in.