Prank Wars

I’m going to update you all with a real entry after I post this one, but this one is great. 🙂

So, I hate my roommate Jacob. I have since we moved in here. Everyone else hates him, too.
He eats all our food, he uses all our things, he’s body-checked me once, he’s inconsiderate and annoying. One day, he was watching a movie in his room with the sound up so loud that it literally made things fall off my wall. The walls were shaking SO hard that two pictures I had mounted on the wall fell off and shattered on the ground. When they asked him to turn the volume down, he turned it up even louder.
The guy is just crap.

So yesterday I found out that he’s been using my hairbrush. That enraged me. The last thing I want to do is use MY OWN hygiene/grooming products now. I went out and bought a new hairbrush, new toothbrush, new loofa, new razors, etc. Because I don’t know what he’s used and I really, really, really don’t want to be "sharing" those things with him. I think it’s fucking DISGUSTING. It repulses me.

He actually had the nerve to ask Adam where my hairbrush was (after I removed it from the bathroom). Adam was like "Uh… what?" And Jacob proceeded to tell him he needed my hairbrush before he went to work. Even Johnny and Bobby were like "first of all, that’s nasty. and second of all, women don’t really like it when you use their things…" I can’t believe he was dumb enough to ask about it!

I think it’s absolutely pathetic that I can’t leave ANY of my things in the bathroom. I had to go in there and remove everything that belonged to me and I have to keep them in my bedroom so that he can’t use them. Why should I have to do that? I feel like I’m a guest at a hotel– or I’m in fucking Girl Scout camp or some shit. I gotta take a little bag into the bathroom with me. That’s fucking pathetic.

So, I’m tired of talking. I’ve confronted this boy several times– so has Adam, so has Johnny and so has Bobby. He doesn’t listen, he doesn’t learn.
He’s gonna.

I’m fucking with my old hairbrush. We haven’t decided what we’re going to put on it but some of the suggestions were nair, honey, vaseline, etc. If you have any suggestions, let me know.
I’m also filling my empty bottles of shampoo/conditioner with blue hair dye.
And, for the finale, I’m making exlax brownies right now. That’s the one that all the boys are excited about.

He obviously can’t learn with words. We’ve all talked to him and confronted him… we’ve all gotten into arguments or left him little notes. It’s time he learned and if it’s gotta be this way, then that’s just how it is.

World War 3 is starting up in this bitch and I am fucking ready.
I’m ready to goddamn laugh!

😉