Does Not Compute!

Well, they finally hired some people at work which makes my life a lot less stressful since everyone quit.
However, there is ONE girl that seems to be… how do I put this… dumb as shit!

For description, I will tell you that she is 19 years old. Approximately, 5’2" and maybe 270 lbs (poor girl). She’s very socially awkward and it is my opinion that she doesn’t understand simple social cues. ANYWAY…

She tends to make my work day so incredibly fucking awkward. I’m not trying to be mean but I dont know how to handle having her around. The awkwardness is just unbearable and I dont know how to deal with it!

Storytime #1:
I had a hickey on my neck. YES I DID! And most of the workers would say "Ohhh you slut with your hickey!!" Because I thought hickeys were pretty much something EVERYONE knows about. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a hickey like general information? Anyway…

She walks up to me, points at the hickey and goes, "What is that on your neck?" And I, trying to play it off and joke around was like, "Well my husband bit me!" She gets 100% serious, leans towards me and goes, "Why would your husband do something like that?"
I was totally caught off-guard. Was she serious? Does she not know anything about sex? How do I explain this?!
I shrugged my shoulders. She says, "Just because?" And to get the conversation to be over quicker I say, "Yeah, he bit me just because."
I thought I was done, I WAS WRONG!

She then gets insanely close to my face and proceeds to ask, "Why is your husband hurting you, Emily?"

W
T
F

I did not want to be the one to have to explain to her what "husbands and wives like to do to each other!"

I ended up just walking away from her because I had no fucking idea how to handle her awkwardness. She had a tendency to just ask really stupid questions like "Why is there pink in your hair?" or "Why do you have bandana on your wrist?"
Like, those are questions that have no answers. They’re just fucking fashion accessories!!!

I don’t know how much more I can take!