Hot, Humid, Hazy

I’ve been doing better since my last entry.  I’ve actually been eating more than once a day, and it had me worried for a bit that I may be pregnant because I couldn’t stop myself from eating.  But then I figured I just have no willpower and that’s why because I’m on birthcontrol and I’ve been losing weight.  I’m a hypochondriac and a worrier, if you haven’t guessed.  That brings me to my anxiety medicine.  I’ve been going back and forth over whether I want to go back on it, and I’ve always come to the conclusion that I don’t want to rely on something to feel better, but I had a really bad panic attack the other day so I’ve officially decided to go back on it.  I know I don’t want to be on it forever, but I shouldn’t have to suffer through everything.  I’ve gone almost a whole school year without it and I’ve suffered through many panic attacks and let my anxiety get the best of me.  I’m done with that.  I want to actually live without constant worrying or that panic-y feeling.

Onto dieting.  I’m going to do the Atkins way of eating for a week or two.  Not completely taking out carbs, but for the most part.  Then I’m going to ease myself back into them.  I know many people who have had success with Atkins and have kept it off because they did it the right way.  This way, I figure the initial weightloss will give me a confidence boost and willpower.  Then, I can take it one day at a time and ease myself into a normal eating habit.  Perhaps three meals a day.  I know someone was concerned that I only eat once a day, but I guess everyone just has different outlooks on eating.  I know what’s healthy and I know what works for me, I guess.

I get paid on Friday, woo, and my paycheck is going to credit cards and car insurance.  Yes, I will have absolutely no money for myself.  Lovely.