I care too much

I don’t even know if I should bother buying his Christmas present.  I haven’t talked to him since Tuesday and he was supposed to call me Wednesday.  Why do I care?  I need to stop.  This is ridiculous.  He said he wants to change and be a better, more considerate person.  Stupid me believed him.  He said he was calling on Wednesday and he didn’t.  He’ll never change.  As much as he says he wants to and makes me believe he will, I have to know that deep down he won’t.  Until I stop believing him, I’m only setting myself up to be hurt over and over.  How do I stop?  I seriously need guidance because whatever I am doing is not working.  He makes me think he honestly cares.  Then I don’t hear from him for four days.  I have a feeling he doesn’t do it on purpose, but he needs to make sure he doesn’t do it, and he’s not making the effort.

On the plus side, I’ve lost almost 5lbs.  I don’t feel any skinnier.  I’ve had too much caffeine and it’s affecting my nerves.  I can’t even enjoy something that makes me happy.

I want to hate you so much.

edit:  I just called him to see if perhaps his phone was on.  It was.  Guess where he was?  Back at school, which was the reason he was supposed to call me was because he wanted me to go with him.  I am beyond fucking pissed right now.  I fucking HATE HIM AND I HOPE HE ROTS IN HELL.  I had a fucking dream last night that I told him off and I seriously mean it right now.  HE FUCKING LIED AGAIN.  He is such a lying piece of shit.  He’ll never change.  He is the biggest, most inconsiderate piece of shit on this planet.  I hope he fucking drinks himself to death because no on will give a fucking shit when he’s gone.