Christmas Update

I don’t even know how long it has been since I last wrote in here.  I’m home for break, and my throwing up was out of control.  From the time I was home for Thanksgiving until like a week ago I was making myself throw up like twice a day.  I made myself puke last week and noticed that there was a good amount of blood in it.  I really freaked myself out because I know all this stress and puking is hurting me and making me puke blood.  So, since then I have been afraid to make myself throw up, which is really good because I want to stop.  When I don’t know I won’t allow myself to puke, I don’t eat as much.  I know I won’t let myself puke so I stop eating sooner.  I actually haven’t even been eating much, even with Christmas.  I mean, of course I ate more than usual today, but yesterday I didn’t eat too much.  I had to work until 8pm so I didn’t eat anything until like 9ish.  I had a small dessert thing at my uncles then my step mom made these little hors d’oeuvres when we got home.  I doubt I ate more than 1,000cal for the day.  Oh, I had to help eat the three cookies my sister left out for Santa, but I only ate like a whole one after I left pieces and crumbs to make it look like Santa was messy.

 

 

I got a few gift cards so I’m excited to go shopping, but at the same time I feel huge and fat so I’m aggravated.  Arg.

 

 

So I found these little comics that are supposed to be funny, and they are, but they make me sad at the same time.  Aw fuck I can’t find the ones I wanted to post, so instead I’ll just put a random funny comic.

<img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y163/sikora76/thumbwar.png"></img>&nbsp;

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December 25, 2006

Not going to lie, was sitting infront of the toilet today after dinner, contemplating, it took a lot for me to turn around and walk out. Food is a battle every day. Happy Holidays!

December 25, 2006
December 25, 2006

It’s good to see you around. I was worried about you. I hope all goes well for you!!!