Slow, Deep, Passionate..asshole for caring?

Cause your fucking Sweet…thats the first things I have to say. You know the more and moe I ty and make myself friends in the end it only seems to cause me more stress n problems then I had in the begining..and for these fucking people think it’s something for me to drop someone? Your got life fucked up, I never had ne one that was my friend or lover for that matter that hasnt fucked me over, or made me the complete and utter asshole because you cant fucking realize or admit the thigns they have done wrong. I have never not once said i didn’t do something I "remembered" doing. I write it like that because of….the "others" i have no control over thwta they do and or say. I mean they way I look at is ok imma b mad for a minute but regardless od ya’ll being here or no bitch I STILL MOTHER FUCKING RUN IT!. I got everything I need plus more..sooo really your not doing any harm to my in any sense sooo…fuck off..

Anyways on to bigger and BETTER THINGS: Well Tuesday I have my gender team meeting, ugh it’s pretty much pointless for the meeting to even happen, I’m getting the letter so yuh. I’m calling tomorrow morning for my endo app for my blood work. I’m also sending in my gender change form so by the end of sept that’l b bak to me and I canget my i.d changed and replaced. Also After my birthday…maybe depending on how muhch cash I get for my birthday I’; b able to file for my name change aswell. Just a little hard with the few things I have had to dis out..well Sara paided em..but other bills. Though everything is coming together nicely.

Sara and I have been doing great. We broke up a few nights ago..I freaked out but thats my own paranoia getting to me. We discussed things and i think we have been doing ALOT better on our communication. It’s absolutely amazing how paciant and calm I am with her I mean toher she may not see if, but if only see could see how I was before. It was jsut shitty bc I was going to pick her up from work with flowers nd diner nd blah blah..but it all just went sour. She is amazingly supportive of everything that I have been going thru mentally physically, health wise, job wise..just everything. She’s amazing. I never had someone so upfront with making a reationship a partnership instead of..just fending for ourselves. I have never been the type of person to just lay in bed, I was always the first one up waking my "partner" up and rushing her to do something cause I didn’t wanna just lay er sit around, but now I feel like I ould just lay in the bed intwind with each other for ours just our hearts beating together, breathing softly just taking in each others presence. I’m glad we have taken the route with our relationship that we have, slow, deep, nd passionate We have been together longer then ne of the "new couples" around nd yet everyone is moving intogether nd loves em nd found there soul mate…ok well when u all fall apart because no one took my advice to slow down..well I told you u so..nd before ne one reads this and jumps to conclusions…I really dont care about YOUR relationship…this is redirected to real friends. Plus it’s not in an disrespectful manner just sayin rushing to fast is what is the down fall of relationships not knowing  enough of the Person before completely involving them with your self then ur ripped apart, or just because u urself arnt ready? Im not trying to pass jugdment or be nosey..just help..but im an asshole for doing that apperently. So imm just not care i seem t b less of an asshole that way.

ANY WHOOOOO… i really cant stand living at my moms anymore, shes driving me insane, but I have found a solution to that proble. Just have to put up with it for the time being. But paciants in a virtue. (random thought ho if u just put has in a car above half a tank n u drive no where but literally 100 ft dwn the road theres less then a qutr tank? dnt make sense) idk…umm……

So I no longer work at the diner, yea long story kinda retarted but what ever so it’s off to find a different morning job, n take the few hrs a night at the pizza plc..ugh i cnt wait to fucking go to school this is getting insane.

Off to take garbage out nd fold laundry.

D.j