making my life my own

Well hello..

OH has it been some time. Theres alot that I would love to write but I don’t have the time and or the privetcy to do so.

Cat, Amy, and Alyda….women troubles…there all amazing but god knows whos really going to be the one for me. I love Alyda with all my heart but I’m scared to death to put my self completely back into it if she isnt sure she can handle my transitions. I dont want to begin it with her thinking you know I have an amazing partner that is going to suppose me, respect me, and the whole 9 yards if shes only going to dip out few months into it. Amy idk anymore..heard she was talking to Brother….done. Cat I cant even explain shes such a fun, down to earth, out goinging shy, crazy calm, unpredictable person…alot like how I am. Shes great and full completely excepts me for everything and is just about as excited for everything as I am.

Work is work, just making money to pay my car payments and my insurence, and saving up for Glendale. I found an apt that I’m sold on. I love the floor plan how much room and the area. AMAZING! So I have to get things together to start really really saving for this move. I really dont want to have to put it off anymore then December.

So I’m tryingt o get the nerve up to call for therapy. I just pick up the phone go to call and I get butterflies and feel like IM going to puke. Maybe somethings is seriously wrong with me. I don’t get why I’m so nervous I have been waiting on this for about a year and a half now. I dont know Maybe its the taking another step forward and actually knowing that it is possible, or the talking to the person o nthe phone, being jugded..what ever it is I wanna get it over with I want to get things going already. idk…

so yuh haha i bought a car..lol not sure if i actully mentioned it…mhm ima working my ass off and coming up in the world..

Im making my life my own! how I want it…and not letting ANYONE get in my wat if ya do kick yo ass to the curb…

 

Damien

Log in to write a note
March 12, 2010

That’s great. It is very interesting how you are reacting to calling a therapist. I think you need to figure out what you are trying to avoid. I have been breaking appointments with my therapist too. I know what I have been trying to avoid. RYN. Thanks for the encouragement