I’m still alive!!!!!!!!!

It’s been awhiile since I have written and So much has taken place I’m not sure that i could write it all at this point in time. I honestly don’t even know where to begin. Well work as been gettign better, I have been busting my ass 40 hours a week more if I can, and sucking ass so I don’t have to hear there mouths about all the bullshit they could possibly say that I’m doing wrong. I make sure that I do everything by the book just to make sure. All my hard work and sticking out this miserable job I saved up enough money to buy a car and get my license. Yes I got them so fuck all the haters who said I was going and getting no where. It’s one step at a time. Nothing happens over night, and I’m glad I have sorted everything out and set myself goals because things are actually getting done in my life.

Alyda and I arn’t back together, it’s really complicated, we still act as if we are and have sex…but I honestly don’t know how much of it I can take. I have stressed this fact to her. I care and love her to much just to be friends, hanging out with her and possibly seeing who she will eventually be with just is entirely to much for me to handle caring for her the way that I do. I’m just letting things….flow. I have been hanging out with Amy alot, and las night I went over there. It was the same as always, we wrestles and shit, when I left we kissed. It wasnt anything like mad makeout just kinda  apeck. Things are still kinda akward between us, that super shyness or how ever you want tto put it.

I no longer stya with Cassie…some shit went down and I’m not being treated or talked to like I was. I’m grown and not someones bitch. So They packed my shit, but took half my clothes and took money I had saved in my topfuund box for my top surgery. Ya…all gone…fuckin bastards. I now know why everyone talked as much shit about cassie as they do shes a grimy money grumbin crazy ass bitch. So I’m kinda stayin at my moms, but i more so live out of my car and just let it take me place. I’m  a wanderer I never stay in one palce to long. I get bored very easily, and I’m very bored with life. I need some sort of excitement before I completely lose it and start really doing some off the wall things.

Tomorrow I have a show in youngstown. I’m glad I’m starting to perform again. I love getting on that stage and just wildn out and being goofey as fuck, having fun. EXCITEMENT ! Exactly what I need. I’m really excited maybe I could get some pics or something up. which reminds me I have to do videos for The chollab channel on youtube. Fuck thats two videos. I’m just feeling lazy and ya know. I know In eed to do it tho.

i found out Alyda started smoking weed after we broke up, so we kinda had a stoner night the other night…but my ass fell asleep. haahahaha I’ve been waiting for  her and I to smoke together for how long and my fat ass falls asleep.

I have been kicking it with Tovey and C.C a lik bit. We all went out to the bar last week or so to have a few drinks. It was fun…we had a  blast. C.C only smashed half the fries she ordered down my throat lol. I hate being forced to eat lol, esp when I eat a damn chipotle burrito everyday. Them fuckers are as big as me. hahahahahaha

hmm…i can’t think of anything else at this point in time. IM STILL ALIVE!!!!, and I’m doing decently….one step at a tme..in hale then exhale…

D.j