A Day Lacking Celebration

Father’s day has always been an awkward moment for me.

Growing up, I thought little of it. I celebrated it with my grandfather instead of my father. Which sounds odd, but for mothers day I always celebrated with my mother and my grandmother. Having grown up in their household (and all the things they did for me) it seemed appropriate.

In my early teens, I celebrated (sort of) with my step-father. However, because he was a mean son-of-a, my heart was not in the right place.

And that brings me to now. In far off Missouri, where we lay our scene….

Confusion mostly fills this heart. Confusion not on an emotional level, but rather, of how best to handle a day for celebrating absence.

If the leadup, isn’t enough; I have not met my real father.

Many would call him a deadbeat, or some other derisive term. I just shrug my shoulders when asked. Is there a gap in my heart…a feeling of something missing? No.

But there is an awkward feel on this day when most people are out with their father. Whether it be a game of father-son golf, a picnic, or perhaps even a long-distance phone call.

This day passes idly. As i do the same I do on my other days off. Read. Go shopping. Play soccer. Video Games. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Its an odd feeling. And A feeling, I sure, which will never abate. Another year, another day of nothing.

Oodles o’ love,
Erotique