Pour Your Misery Down On Me

Cheers for another week of solitude, bitterness, rage and hate. And by solitude of course, i mean I (1) went out with the boys 3 or 4 times (2) gambled a bit and (3) played a medicre share of time on World of warcraft. But all that fun aside, its been a rough week emotionally for me for some reason, as is evident by the fact that i haven’t posted here: ive learned from experience not to post here while in a bad mood.

I skipped all my classes today in honor of roshashanna, in celebration of my jewish-driven education which began at the newschool, and is continuing (in a bit more convoluted, but not much) fashion here at Washington University.

I also came to the stark realization that is is October 4th (well now 5th) and i haven’t yet read a single page of stuff for any of my classes; law school classes, mind you. Moreso, i haven’t even really unpacked half of my apartment, which is still cluttered with cardboard boxes. I did however, get my family-heirloom painting back from Sean’s house, which made my heart a little lighter.

Still, overall i have not been keen on accomplishing things. I have been lax in the girl department ONCE AGAIN, which is going to result in another self chiding in the future, im sure. In fact, i even had another night of "wingman" for Ryan, in which time i distracted the "other" girl so he could attempt to put the moves on randomgirl25. This time, she was an undergrad, a psych major, and simply put, once that came out, it was game over. I brought up freud, the newschool, object relations theory, and we "hit it off" to use her words. Ryan of course, in his traditional lack-of-fashion, did a few ridiculous things that only, i swear, a 5 year old would do. For example, when the girls started talking to each other he puts in hand inbetween the faces, waving (hello, attention on me please!!!), and i just shook my head. But the ryan factor aside, all i heard was blahblahblah, and walked away without even saying goodbye after like minute 34, at which point i was turning to le boys’ table and mouthing "help."

I know deep down in my heart girls shouldn’t annoy me like that. Really, i do like them, and really i do fall for them like nothing else in the world. I just cant, for the life of me, find one interesting girl in the entire st. louis area. Sigh. Hell, i don’t even get rejected, because i don’t have enough interest for it to get to that stage. Im really becoming a bit irked at this one? (is it you, is it me?…f–k if i know)

Ive got soul but, i’m not a soldier

That line is ringing through my head right now. I don’t know why, and i don’t particularly like the song. But its there, everpresent, mingling.

Perhaps its the blonde-cheerleader-type kick i’ve been on. Perhaps those girls really are as boring as they are in the movies, and that stereotype isnt wrong. It sure as hell hasn’t been wrong yet. Sigh.

I’m reaching the point of almost-considering-going-but-not-really-yet to the local goth clubs in st louis, of which, in fact, their are quite a number. Its getting that bad. (Of course, goth girls aren’t any better….but at least they wear vinyl, which makes up for alot)

Life is just being…well, life again, and i hate when it rears up like this. Scary thing is, nothing has really happened, nothing dramatic, traumatic, or even remotely bad. But i’m just not feelin’ it. Not at all.

There is a girl in my corporations class that i have a bit of a crush on. Shes not blonde, but shes very my type. However, she hasn’t been in class for about a week, which makes we wonder if she dropped it. That would be bad. Still, i told myself "law students are bad"…but then again, rules are just guidelines, not carved in stone. Trouble? Yes, but all girls are. We shall see.

I still need to get my haircut, but apparently i have a problem waking up before noon to actually have time for it, which is a shame.

I was however, complimented on my glasses. Now that is exciting. Of course, the same day, i went grocery shopping, and left all the coke i had purchased sitting on the ground as i drove away. Oops. Cheers to no short-term memory.

Oh, and i learned to play a new drinking game; and by learn, of course, i mean, i lost. Cheers to the newest member of the crew Dennis for that one….i was completely hammered saturday night. Vodka and cranberry is great, but vodka and white cranberry is just plain ridiculous. I may yet become an alcoholic.

EDIT: I couldn’t sleep, and just did something i shouldn’t have. Damn the power of insomnia stirred with melancoly.

Oodles o’ love,

Erotique