I owe you and explanation.

 It didn’t work out….
Mitch that is.
Que the crowd gasp. 
Are you done now? Thanks. haha
No but seriously. I’ve been having my "doubts" the last week or so. Something wasn’t settling right with my heart. Let me explain: he is FANTASTIC, grounded, an incredibly hard worker, sweet, sensitive, funny, etc. So whats my issue? 
I don’t think we fully mesh. SERIOUSLY. 
I am a lot to handle, and thats not a dig on myself. I am outgoing, confrontational, hyper, and i LOVE and FEED off of deep spiritual conversations. Mitch is the complete opposite. Now, don’t get me wrong i think that the Lord is going to pair me with a man who has a laid back personality, but a man who also has more of a backbone and will be the one to prompt Spiritual conversations. 
I don’t want to be the spiritual leader of a relationship. 
I NEED a man to love God more than he loves me. 
I know everyone might not understand that…and thats ok, but that is what i need, that is my Number 1! 
. . .
So this is how the text conversation went last night: 
[He will be in teal]

So have you given any more thought about possibly coming down? 

yes i have, and i’ll be honest i’m torn about it. I think you’re really awesome and i really want to meet you in person but i’m not sure i want to do a long distance relationship. Have you given any thought to it? 

I have, and i agree as well. I’m in the same boat, i want to meet you to see how it goes and i think you’re awesome but idk if i want to d long distance as well. It’s definitely a hard decision…mmmk do you think we mesh well enough? honestly? And i dont want you to feel like you have to visit, especially if you don’t see it going anywhere. 

I think considering how little we’ve actually gotten to talk we have done quite well…i’m pretty shy at first usually but we’ve seemed to have no trouble making conversation, how about you? and are you really torn or are you just saying that because i did? And i dont feel obligated lol i dont think you should date out of obligation i think it should be because you think the person could be the one and you want to get to know them better to find out. 

No i’m genuinely torn, i’m not sure i want to do it again. And i think we mesh pretty well, there is a balance of personalities, i just…i dont know 

It’s the same thing thats been going through my mind. Would you like to hold off on next weekend then? So that both of us can be sure we’d be willing before we meet? 

Well to be honest..i just dont know if we would work and i dont want to waste anyones time by you visiting if i dont see it really going anywhere. I hope that doesn’t seem brash i just want to be honest because you deserve that. i really have enjoyed getting to know you and will continue to pray for you. 

Ok i appreciate your honesty…so are you saying lets not plan to see each other at all because you dont feel like you would be a good match or are you saying you don’t feel like long distance would work and you want more time to think about it? 

I think its a little of both and its just prolonging the inevitable…and we both deserve better than that. =/
And i know that its not like we were anything more than friends; but i’d like to continue a friendship because i think its already started off great. 

Ok..i appreciate your honesty. I know for my part i felt like you and i have gotten along very well. For me it was just a question of the distance, not the match. I hope the fact that i have been very busy with things going on lately hasn’t played into your question of the match, but i understand where you’re coming from and i appreciate you being willing to tell me up front, i honestly do. 

Thank you for understanding, and i mean that. What do you think of the friendship?

I’d love to continue being friends: )

Me too 🙂
. . .
So that’s that. 
Just friends it is.
I’m ok with it. I was a little sad about it last night. But i know, ultimately, that God is in control of all areas of my life and that when the timing is right He is going to lay it out. 🙂
. . .
Onto other things. 
So that text message convo with Mitch happened last night at Bible Study (which is more of like, tell me your life and we will all talk about it group haha). ALSO at Bible Study my lovely friend *S* had to break it off with a stage 5 clinger. Seriously, this guy was PSYCHO. He tried to tell her last night (as she was breaking up with him) that a husband is to love his wife as much as he loves God. SERIOUSLY? HECK NO…and she was all "no, absolutely not. Scripture says to love God above all things, and people" and he was like "You’re speaking blasphemy" at that point i whipped out my Bible and started yelling out Ephesians 5: 25-28. There is no way i will let some ignorant pshyco little boy (he’s not little he’s actually 30 something and 7foot tall hahah) misquote scripture. HECK NO….and then i was all like "if you love someone over God that is IDOLATRY so don’t get it twisted" haha. 
I was about to jump through that phone. 
Please, you raise your voice/threaten someone i love and i will make you wish you were back in second grade. 
. . .
What else, what else….
This weekend i’m going with one of my friends (i’m the maid of honor in her May wedding!!) to meet with the florist for the wedding stuff. Then me and my Bible Study group are going to make t-shirts for a 5k we’re doing next week!! 

ALSO……
I’m signing up for a half-marathon in November (i think its in november) to help raise money and awareness for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! This is going to be AMAZING for me because i will run this race with excellence. WHY? Because i lost my mother to Leukemia in 2004 after a 6-7 month battle with Cancer. She was amazing and i miss her every freaking day. 
Me and Stacy are going to team up and we will race and raise money together, around $2,300. Thats the minimum goal you are to raise. So be in prayer for us…and hey i might even start posting donate buttons one day haha. 

. . .
blaaaaaaaaaaa
It’s going to be a LONG day at work today…

How is everyone?