friends

I know this is a reoccurring issue in my diary but it just drives me crazy how friends just seem to disappear for one reason or another. There are a few that I got rid of by my choice but it seems like others just stopped hanging out. Melissa and Tammy and their family were my choice because of drama that kept coming up. I will say I did enjoy when we all hung out but it felt like there was more giving than getting. Amy I barely talk to anymore and that one really hurts especially since we have been friends since 5th grade and same thing for Belinda. The only time I ever see her is on Halloween which I hate. My friend Ginny has seemed to drop off the face of the earth. I see her occasionally post something on fb but we never hang out anymore and she never talks to me either. The only friends that seem to be around the most are Lil Michelle and Amanda. I don’t get to see Amanda too much because she’s working but when we do we have tons of fun and Lil Michelle cracks me up. Tab is one of my best friends but we don’t get to see each other too often because usually when she comes to town she hangs out with Jason most of the time and that’s fine plus I know she doesn’t care for my son too much and that he gets on her nerves. Hopefully this summer we can figure out a way to get together. I was thinking of possibly going down to Springfield one weekend or something and hanging with her if she’s cool with it.

I know losing friends and gaining them are a part of life but it just makes you feel like shit when it seems like you lost more than you gained and how it makes you feel so alone. When Jess was gone for basic training I was so lonely and felt like no one gave a shit. I always try to check in on friends and if there’s something going on check in on them even if it’s just a text but no one did that for me when I needed it. I would have felt better if someone had just said how are you or how are you doing today. They didn’t have to ask me every day but just checking in every once in a while would have been nice. I guess I should just shut the hell up and stop whining about it.