surgery finally

After waiting forever to get my thyroid surgery over with I’m scheduled to have it on the 30th. This sucks for a few reasons. One is it’s my mom’s birthday, two it’s Lil Shell’s 2 year anniversary of her accident, three I have no one to help with Kacey for a few days. My mom is taking off on her birthday but not for 2 days after and I doubt Jess will take two days off to help me out when he’s the main one bringing home a paycheck so this should be interesting. According to the dr the plan is to go in and take out the right side because it has 3 nodules on it. They are going to have a pathologist there or somewhere near who is going to look at the section they take out to find out if it’s cancerous. If it does come back to be cancerous they are going to take out the left side as well so they won’t have to go back and do it later. If it comes back non cancerous they are going to leave the left side and I might have to have surgery again in the near future for that side. The risks are they could accidentally cut nerves which would lead to me being permanently hoarse for the rest of my life or accidentally cut the parathyroid gland which is behind the thyroid and it could screw with my calcium levels in my body. Neither sound that fun. I’m honestly scared shitless but hope there are no complications.

Other than that whole situation not much else going on that is truly exciting. I haven’t spoken to most of my friends in quite a while. Ginny pops up occasionally asking me if I want to do something but it’s usually like that day and I’m busy or it’s a day Kacey decides he doesn’t want to listen and behave and so I don’t take him anywhere. Besides it’s usually at Ginny’s house and she is a big smoker and her house is super smoky and I can’t stay there for long. I told her about it before but I’m guessing she forgot but I literally can’t go to her house. My nose gets super stuffed to the point I can’t breathe and my eyes start burning and watering and I start to get a headache. I love the girl to death but I can’t do her house. My friend Lil Shell smokes and her house I don’t have a problem with because she goes outside and smokes. The thing with Ginny is her husband doesn’t smoke but she still smokes in the house. I have nothing against people who smoke but damn I’m not going to feel like shit from someone’s smoke. Even Candice’s house I can deal with her smoking in her house and it doesn’t bother me like it does at Ginny’s and Candice has smoked since I met her. Ginny is older but still. Me and Lil Shell get together when we can. With how hot it’s been this summer we haven’t invited her over to spend the weekend because our apartment even with air conditioners feels like a oven and we discovered she gets quite mean and angry when it gets hot out not that I blame her. I’ve been visiting with Candice the last few Fridays because Jess goes up to Freeport for his taekwondo and I don’t really want to sit at the place waiting for him because we have to bring Kacey with and I know Kacey wouldn’t be able to sit still that long so we go over and drive Candice crazy lol. At least until she gets sick of me and tells me not to come over anymore. I have a annoying habit of trying to clean her house for her. I’m a tad OCD about cleaning these days.

So other than Candice and Lil Shell I don’t have many people to hang out with. In a way it’s my fault because I don’t ask too many people to hang out because I’m used to being told nope got plans or have to work or I don’t know yet even though it’s like a few days in advance or just yea and then when the day comes I get screwed over. I just feel like no one gives a shit. The whole time Jess was gone I felt so alone and there was a few people who were like we’ll be there for you. One of them was Ginny but with her her grandson was diagnosed with brain cancer and she had to have some medications rearranged so I left her alone and tried not to ask her for too many favors. I feel bad when I have to ask someone to watch Kacey for me for one reason or another. Partly because I know how bad he can act sometimes and partly because I tend to ask Ginny to watch him a lot because I know she can keep him occupied. Even though Jess is back I miss hanging out with friends but it just seems like I don’t have any.

I better stop rambling about the friends deal. No one really cares anyway.