Giggle

Tommy, my nephew who is 7 years old was over some time ago and I was getting him CocoPops, I looked in the fridge and saw we were out of milk and only had chocolate milk, so I said to Tommy in an apologetic and sympathetic voice "I’m so sorry Tommy, we’re out of normal milk, all we have is chocolate milk, do you think it’d be okay if we used that in your CocoPops?" He said, trying his hardest not to smile with delight "Oh… well… since that’s all there is."

Brent was at a small party about a year ago, Whatson, a highly accomplished acquaintance was hosting, Whatson had his ‘country cousin’ over, which is what it sounds like, he requested that the group be kind to his cousin as he is a bit awkward socially. The boys started drinking and taking their various drugs, and the cousin arrived with three bottles of Durotuss cough syrup, he was quite determined to get everyone to drink with him but no one would, he persisted on about it for 3 hours, much to everyone’s annoyance, he obviously wasn’t going to drink any without some company, so Brent said to him finally "Alright let’s do it." The country cousins eyes lighting up, Brent told him he was going out onto the balcony for a cigarette first and when he got back he’d join him. After a couple of minutes the cousin became impatient and went out onto the balcony to find him, with the glasses of Durotuss in his hands, at which point Brent turned to him, moved into a position of space and burst into song "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."

Brent isn’t what you’d call sympathetic to people who frustrate him.

Stephen’s female friend from Germany was telling him a story, she was at a party back in Germany and someone arrived with about 30 Cheeseburgers from McDonald’s and started handing them out, when the guy came up to her asking if she wanted a burger she grabbed the bag of burgers and threw it in the fire. Her friends cheered her actions, citing some nonsensical leftist justice. It mightn’t seem like a big deal, but here is how a normal human sees the story, someone went out and brought back cheeseburgers to share out of the kindess of their heart with their own money, the guy comes up to her and offers her a burger and she snatches the bag of them out of his hand, stealing from him, then throws it in the fire, destroying his property, and then she begins a righteous rant and is applauded by her friends for it, whilst he simply watches… I’m not big into revenge but sometimes I hear things that make me think vigilante justice is the only response which will give, suitable, results.

Brent and I were walking along talking and he says "I got into a bit of trouble at work the other day for laughing my tits off at AIDS." He proceeded to tell me the story, Brent works at a little cabaret club, filled with failed actors he says, it was the end of the night and everyone was cleaning tables, someone in the group asked "Which do you think is worse, AIDS or Herpes?" Everyone immediately said ‘What? AIDS obviously.’ Brent is like me and has a fairly dark sense of humour. So in response he says in a loud voice "I don’t know." Another girl who was working there said straight away "I’ve known two people who have died from AIDS." Your typical bitch, trying to scare him from expressing his opinion by creating a situation in which if he continues he will be seen as reprehensible and she’ll be righteous about it, also the whole ‘acknowledge how much pain and suffering I’ve seen and known’ thing, I mean seriously who fucking volunteers that sort of info? I hate people who wear tragedies like medals of honour, it’s a disgusting attitude. That sort of behaviour is a red flag to Brent, so he pretended to back down and he said "Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, how long did they have it for?" She replied "Oh well, let me think, (no.1) got it when he was 34 and died at 40 so 6 years and (no.2) she had it for 4 years." Brent immediately took his chance and said "See, AIDS only ruins your life for 4-6 years, but herpes, that stuff fucks with you for decades." He said to me "She thought she had scared me and won but then I made her sad story the butt of my joke." Everyone was obviously horrified by this and he found that just hilarious, the more he laughed the more offended she and all of them were, and the funnier he found it.