Here goes…

Hmm… so I did end up forgeting a lot of stuff I was going to write about. Oy! I used to be so good about writing, and now I’ve just been so lazy or I’ve actually been busy.

So about me leaving UCF for good. It had to be done. I couldn’t spend my time there if I was not happy and getting super stessed about everything. Plus I was not getting the finacial aid I needed and I didn’t have the money to cover the expenses. Also the fact that the theatre dept has some major issues going on that really pissed me off. And I still have not received full answers as to why things have happened the way they have. I am still planning on completing my degree. I’ve started working on it and I got this far, I’m not gonna let a group of stupid people keep me from getting it. I’ve been looking at UArts in Philly. Since it’s an out of state school as well as a private school, it will cost a whole lot. So I’m not sure how long it will take me to get enough money. When I feel I can afford it I will apply. It may be a year or more, but I’ll get back to school.

I started another job. It’s only for 5 weeks, but at least I’m making some money for the time being. I’m working on backstage crew for “The Emperor’s New Clothes” at The Rep. It’s a lot of fun. I’m in a costume and I’m apart of a few scenes. So in a way it’s like being at Shakespeare again… but not quite the same. I just needed to be back working on a show. Even if it is a children’s musical and I have all the crazy songs stuck in my head 24/7. Haha. I’ll need to start looking for another job after this one ends, but it’s hard since most plays will then go through Chanukah and Brian has us planned to do our Chanukah show in Miami this year. Oy! He really does not realize how much that messes things up for me. I’m not gonna be making money. There are shows I could be working on, but since I’ll be gone for 8 days, I can’t do them. And I really wanted Jason to see what we do for Chanukah, but since we’ll be in Miami, he won’t be able to.

Speaking of Jason, we just celebrated our 6 months. Or as I refered to it our Halfy-versary. Haha. I had a feeling he forgot since I didn’t get a message from him that day when I woke up. So to keep me from being even more upset if he really did when I would see him that night. I left him a message. I got him a really cute card and a pumpkin pillow and ghost blanket. I know he wanted those and he forgot to get them when he got all his other spooky stuff for his room. I wasn’t expecting to get anything from him, but I kept thinking maybe he will surprise me. Well, I didn’t get anything from him. Instead he told me he had 2 overdraft fees and he still needed to get food for the week and that I would need to buy my own food for dinner. Even though I did only get a 98 cent pizza, cause I too had no money since I forgot to turn in my time sheet at SAK and so I didn’t get paid. How stupid is that. Oy!

Jason went to New York the 1st weekend of the month with his mom. I was a little upset about that, cause I’ve been trying to get him to take just one night off for the past 6 months and he always said he couldn’t. Yet when his mom asks him if he’ll go with her to New York without thinking he’s like YES. I mean, I know, New York is a lot bigger than just taking a night off to spend with me, but I’d like to think I’m important too. I’ve been with him for 6 months and we’ve never spent an entire night together. The two times I’ve slept over at his house I was alone while he went to work. I really want him to get a different job where for one, he doesn’t work over night, and two doesn’t work every single day. I mean, if he really wants to work at night, I guess it’s ok. But at least have a job where you get days off. I’ve been wanting to plan a vacation, yet I’m the only one saving money, cause he says he doesn’t make enough money to save. He makes a lot more than me, yet I’ve been saving. And also with his job, it’s so hard since he works everyday. I’ve been thinking lately about going on a vacation for our 1 year since he’s saying he can’t take off work anytime soon. Well, that is in 6 months. I think after a year I should hopefully be able to spend an entire night with him without him leaving for work. I’ll most likely be working on a show on our 1 year. Cause there are two shows I could work on that both end that day. Since April 13 next year is a Sunday. But maybe he can go to the show that afternoon, and then we can leave for a vacation right after. I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about all of this lately. It’s just that his brother and girlfriend went on a cruise, went to New York, and just got a house… and a puppy. I want all that too. And they are younger, it just makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. Everytime I ask Jason about planning ahead he says he just takes things one day at a time. Everything I want and keep planning for doesn’t seem to be important to him. Maybe I’m just over examing everything. He keeps telling me not to worry about anything and everything will work out and he knows what I want.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my grandma’s (Bubbie) death. I don’t know how well of a day it will be for my mom. Considering it should have never happened, and she never got to say goodbye.

Ok, well I’ve written. I’m not sure if it’s what I was really planning on writing, but hey it’s something. I’ll try to write again if anything exciting happens in my life.

-StarBright16