Evolve.

Sometimes, I forget I’m a whole, evolved person. I did not come to the world this way, I became who I am. Slowly, painfully, with love and laughter and heartache, became this person.

I come back to this diary because I can flip back through more than a decade of my evolution. It’s crazy. I feel so protective of the girl/woman I was, so sad for her heartache and so grateful that she walked the journey she did.

My past is nothing special or extraordinary. The feelings I put to paper, though, are so real that I can still experience them.

Somehow, I rebuilt with John. Then we had one baby. Then another. We don’t cook anymore. We just eat to live. We don’t sleep in or get a ton of time to ourselves, but we get SO MUCH LOVE from these crazy babies that we made. And we try to take care of each other (sometimes better than others).

I moved from restaurants to accounting because somebody in the house has to have normal hours to be able to get decent daycare. I make friends so much more easily than when I was younger. I genuinely love people. It’s easy for me to see and appreciate their strengths, their goodness. I try to bring happiness to them (at least on good days) and on bad days I grudgingly tell them that I at least don’t think they suck.

Anyway. This diary follows me from 18-34, and hopefully beyond. Thanks for coming back, OD; it’s good to see you again.