Crossroads.

No, this entry is not about an old soap opera featuring a dodgy hotel and a  guy named Benny! It is about me. I kind of feel like I am at a bit of a crossroads and I don’t now which direction to take. I am talking about my work situation. One thing I know for ceratin is that I want to stop working nights at Sainsburys cos it is killing me. The options as I see them are:

1) Carry on as I am, all the while dithering and being fed up.

2) Go onto days in Sainsburys while I look for something else (taking a pay cut which we can’t really afford and doing a job which I would hate even more but at least I could sleep at night)

3) Seriously look for an alternative job.

4) Train for something more long term and worthwhile.

I was all set on option 3 but my sister rang me and got me thinking. She studied and became a teacher from nothing (as in zero qualifications). She got married at 18 – had 6 babies and then starting studying when her youngest went to school! She is a now a fully fledged teacher and studying for her MA which will give her the option to go for a deputy head role! I am so impressed with her but it has made me think: If she can do that then why can’t I do something like that? I have my G.C.S.Es and A levels already which my sister did not have so I am starting from a slightly better place. Also I only  (ONLY!) have 3 children compared to her 6. After she qualified as a teacher she found out she was pregnant again and had her 7th child (big shock). It delayed her ambitions for another year but didn’t stop her.  I have always wanted to be a writer – it is such a pie in the sky ambition but it is what I have always wanted to do. The only thing I have ever wanted to do aside from having a family. I don’t know  – maybe I could study English in some form and even if I don’t do anything as a writer then it is still a usual thing to have. My sister thinks I would make a brilliant teacher…. I don’t know. It all seems daunting and way out of my reach but that has always been my attitude and it has got me nowhere fast. I need to start believing in myself and stop being scared to try. Anyway that is my little ramble about that. Really don’t want to go back to Sainsburys but hey ho will have to – for now!

We had my friend’s son Aaron for a sleepover the other night. He was surprisingly well behaved!!! He is the same age as my Joe, 5. I took all the kids to the cinema  (kids am) for £6 which is a bargain,. It was Aaron’s first ever cinema trip and he loved it. We saw The Pirates. He had asked me before hand if the cinema screen was bigger than my tv! So, needless to say, he was suitably impressed.

I was bored yesterday and the sun was out so I decided  – sod it  – let’s go to the beach. Why let a little thing like not being able to drive stop us? So I rang my mum and we met her on the bus. We had to get one bus into town and then another bus to the beach. They are doing family day tickets at the moment for £10 which I thought was very good value. It did take us a good 2 and a half hrs there and the same back but that was part of the fun for the kids. Once we got to the beach the kids wanted to do EVERYTHING all at once so my mum came up with the brilliant suggestion that they pick one thing each. Joe picked Crazy Golf. I was worried it would cost a lot but it was only £7 for all of us. It took an hour to get round the course so was well worth it. Liam picked donkey rides. Surprise surprise – he absolutely loves anything to do with horses. Lauren just wanted to have a go on some of the things down on the pier. We had a boted to eat and the kids had an ice cream. We had a small play on the beach and then it was time to come back home. We didn’t get in until 10pm and we were all knackered – but happy. It was a lovely day – I am so glad my mum came with us too. It was just really chilled and relaxed – the sun was out – everything was great.

Today we have had a very lazy day – we were just about to go down to the park but it has poured down and I heard thunder – so scrap that idea.

Not a lot else to report at the moment.