Its been a while

Well its been a long time since ive written here. Been caught up in life. Still smoking and i hate that i do. I thought this new life would change me but the truth is there needs to be a lot of effor put into it. There is so much more i need to do and yet can’t seem to do it. My head is still shaved! I like it andi really couldn’t give a (insert curse word) what others think. I don’t find people treat you any differently, theres an initial shock but people get over it. Spose it’s like when a girl has really long hair and then one day cuts it really short. I think that situaition is true for a lot in this life, there are things that happen that capture that moment and make it last a while, for instance, i have to work with me ex and to start with everyone was uneasy around me but now no one cares. Other things would have happened that overshadows your 15 minutes in the spotlight. I guess i’m rambling again but this is my diary 😛 I still walk everyday and try to eat well. There seems so much more i have to do to finally reach what i’m aiming for. I have recently been talking to a girl, we’re only friends but have only met once. We talk online and she has so many problems it sometimes overwhelmes me. I have the tendency to talk to people who only want to talk, who are not interested in listening to you or even asking simple questions of interest. That was kind of random but it annoys me 🙂 I’ve been writing songs and coming up with music on my guitar for them. They are my release i guess, it makes me put my jumbled thoughts into some sort of structure and gives me the opportunity to clearly see how im feeling. Sometimes you can trick yourself into being happy, your convinced that this is how your meant to be but somewhere inside you know it’s an act.

I think ill leave it at that for now before i depress everyone, heres part of my song, it seems like a lot for one verse but ive found chords that go well with them 😛

Won’t you come and take me away, i’ll wait, for you,

I’ve had time to take control, kill the demon, i own,

Eveyone tells a different tale, of love and how it’s meant to be

what does it matter any-way, you dont care, you dont wanna know me