Pox Parties VS. Vaccination

Everybody knows,
That the world is full of stupid people
So meet me at the mission at midnight, we’ll divy up there.
Everybody knows,
That the world is full of stupid people
Well I’ve got the pistol, so I’ll take the peso’s,
Yeah – That seems fair.

So I’ve seen some murmering about pox parties and facebook in the news lately. Seems that certain parents (this is news from the US, of course – only americans can be this stupid) Are selling lollipops and clothes and other assorted items laden with the chicken pox virus on facebook. The article said that one lollipop went for $50 and would be fedexed to your doorstep next-day.

It occurs to me that at some point you are going to have to convince your child to put something in their mouth that you bought from a stranger on the internet whom intentionally slathered it in pox virus. Considering the amount of child sexual abuse these days, it’s seemingly fairly easy to convince kids to put things in their mouths, but you have to LIVE with the thought and knowing that you did that.

I see the point trying to be made here;
Get the little shit sick with the pox early so that he/she doesn’t grow old and die from it at 23.
The problem is that you can  die from it at any age, regardless of race, creed, or parental stupidity. The chicken pox don’t care who you are, if you’re weak enough or susceptible enough, they will KILL YOU.

…Wouldn’t it SUCK if you went and paid $50 for a dirty lollipop that, in turn, killed your kid? Oh man, would you feel bad!

I digress. I, myself, got the pox when I was five or six. Surely enough, I survived the itchy ordeal with a boatload of calamine lotion and chicken soup. As I recall, my parents didn’t infect me with virii that they’d purchased from a back alley (this was pre-internet, folks….fuck I’m old) and I’m pretty sure there was no party immediately before I got the chicken pox, so that rules out any sort of pox party.
You see, Back then, just as now, kids have their very own ways of getting infected. If you haven’t noticed, kids are fucking disgusting. They leak out of every hole, eat things off the ground, touch everything they see, relentlessly go unbathed, and pretty much everything in between. They also happen to attend the cesspool of germs known as any public school on a daily basis, this of course not including public extra curricular activities that mom or dad has pushed them into.
– But don’t run in with the decontamination shower just yet, mom and dad – Kids are, and always will be this gross. And germy. And probably contagious.
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE IMMUNE SYSTEMS (aint the human body neato?)

Again, I digress. Let your kids get it naturally, I assure you, it will happen. Not only does that save you $50 and a trip to federal prison (because fedexing germ-infested items is considered a crime in the US) it also saves you the time and effort of having to plan a so called "pox party". Just send them to school with a little less hand sanitizer and lysol, kay?

ON SECOND

Those Psycho’s that don’t immunize their kids.
"Timmy doesn’t need a shot, all those diseases like rhubella and smallpox are gone these days".
No….No. They still exist, and because of people like you, are far more likely to have another mass breakout. Thanks!
"Mary doesn’t need vaccination, I’ll just have a pox party"
NO. Read above, then die kthx.
"I don’t believe in those"
You’re an idiot. You don’t believe in protecting your child from otherwise deadly diseases? What kind of sick person are you, and how did you get to have a child? So help me, if I get the plague because you didn’t immunize your kid, I will personally stand over your bed while you sleep and pop an infected pustule IN YOUR FACE.

Just get your kid innoculations, for fucks sake. Just do it, because it’s the right thing to do.