Update

Here in my world, it’s heaven

June 4, 2009.
1:41am

 Smoking a cigarette. Aye, still smoking cigarettes, still going strong. It’s unfortunate that the medical community won’t allow a person to keep x-ray pictures, Having been irradiated a month or so ago, I wanted to post my x-rays under the title that I had beat cancer for another year. (the radiation because of a lung infection, not because I thought I had cancer)

As smug as I can be, I’ve probably just hexed myself….

Wedding plans have gone on unrelentlessly, and our wedding stash has grown into two or three boxes. We are almost completely set, so I feel, with only the few major charges here and there left off. The hall is completely paid for, and we our going full force. It’s going to be extravagent! We even found our wedding bands at a local jeweler for cheaper than I had expected, so bonus.

Currently living on employment insurance, barely living I should say, as EI provides about $630 every two weeks, which is enough to cover my car payment and insurance with some scratch left over for cigarettes and other necessities.
I’ve taken the time from work to spend with my lovely, fix up the homefront, and oddball errands in between. I’ve even applied for college at RDC, in a two year program for network service technician stuff (not an official name, but getting there). The only bind is that they want my highschool transcripts, which costs money, and I’m terrified they’ll see I completely failed school and will tell me I need to do a ton of upgrades before I attempt learning.

So I’m 24. Twenty-Four. Am I twenty four? I think so. – I haven’t put much thought into age, but….it’s getting up there. Every year of progression kind of feels like ten years and then, on the other hand, I remember as a child an entire year felt like ages, but these days years go by in a flash. Time has no concept in the adult world!

The thought of marrying the love of my life makes me happy, and for the past few months as it’s sunk in I’ve almost achieved a zen-like state, where everything is fine and nothing can go wrong. If you happen to read back, it’s everything I’ve ever asked for, and I’ve never been happier. It’s come to the point where a good friend of mine (penny-lee) asked me, a few months back, how the hell I managed to do it.

Do what? 

"Stay with someone for so long"

It’s an interesting question, and thinking about it, I dug deeper into the meaning that she meant, and I’ll tell you exactly what I told her:

It’s about sacrifice, Penny. Sacrifice, and compromise. But those two alone won’t do it. Communication (eek! communication!) – is the key. Aye, it’s been said in every book, every je ne se qoi, every saying you’ve ever heard. But it’s true. Be honest, Be open to the other persons feelings, ideas, and opinions. I’m not perfect, but the perfection is that the other person should realize that. We all make mistakes, but along with sacrifice, compromise, and proper communication, there’s always forgiveness. If you follow the basic guidelines, You’ll find that trust, love, and cherish comes right along with it.

Seriously, I told her that. Perhaps not in those words EXACTLY, being as stoned as I was then (because penny and I, we smoke the pot) but the baser meaning was there. I don’t think she heard me, but penny will always be penny, and dammit, she’ll get it one day.

I realize I’m babbling, but I figured since an update was due, I’d go all out. I digress.

We’re doing fine. She’s finally getting over a rather nasty lung infection, Myself living as I do, right there beside her. Have I doubts or worries? maybe, but they diminish the second I see her smiling the way she does, and fall right to my knees in love with her all over again.

Alright, I’m gushing, But it’s still burning bright, and I don’t see an end to it in the farthest future I can fathom.

It”s time for bed, but I thought I’d keep this alive and well with a little something