HAVE to rant about this, again

…And those of you that DO want to experience the M2 technology,
coffee machine’s down the hall…
 

Browsing through Archives of Electronic gaming monthly, mainly a march 1993 issue, A certain Article caught my eye. An article which has led to this rant in the past, but after a few hours of browsing, a much more emotion-fueled rant. And by emotion I mean one of those "HOW COOL WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN" rants. So let’s get started….First, the article (for proof purposes only):

Granted, this was never released (duh)….Sony and Nintendo had a contract to create this little system, and though it would have been SUPER BADASS, there was a slight issue, and basically Nintendo cheated on sony with phillips (a rival optical drive manufacturer), Sony got pissed off and laid down the lawsuits, phillips didn’t want to have anything to do with nintendo what with johnny law being all over them, and nintendo shrugged it’s shoulders all like "watev.."
In reality, Phillips went on to make billions in manufacturing everything from alarm clocks, tv’s, optical drives of all kinds, etc.. Nintendo dropped the cd based console (until much, much later with the gamecube) and created the N64, and Sony, as we all know, got spiteful and created the Playstation, a billion dollar investment in itself.

Had nintendo stuck to it’s contractual liability, They would have been in a shared market of the most awesome super freakin cool console in the market at the time….but they fucked up. bigtime. Like the do so, so many times in the future (remember, we were talking 1993 here, right?)

Which leads me to mroe moronic decisions and console abortions: The panasonic M2. AH, the fame itself. This was the next console from 3DO (if you don’t know what a 3DO is, you are far too young to be reading this and if you’re not that young I highly suggest wikipedia) The M2 was supposed to rival and outright kill the playstation in competition…..had it ever made it out of production. The company got all scared that sony pwned the market so they sold 3DO and subsequently M2 to matsushita (some japanese congloberate) for something like $100 million bucks. This bothers me. This console was in final stages (actual prototypes exist on ebay for something like ten grand) and they dropped it like a pubescent testicle. WHY. WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS!? I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I HATE when things get started and never finished, especially so close to being done!
So what of this M2 now, you ask? Where is this wonderful fantastic console you speak of? Well, matsushita took the M2 technology and incorporated it into this:

That’s right. A mother fucking coffee vending machine. A FUCKING COFFEE DISPENSER.
$100 million cup of joe, anyone? Let’s turn our xbox’s into massage chairs!

But not all failures are consoles, some are portables (google "apple iplay" or "ministry Mobile eve") and TONS, and TONS of accessories and add ons. My favorite? The dreamcast Zip drive.
Dreamcast has to be my favorite doomed console. It was a simple, easy to hack up, winCE powered piece of white coloured awesomeness….This thing could have stopped Sony’s playstation in it’s tracks, but sega (as we know it) has retarded monkeys with down’s syndrome working for the marketing department. Honest! The dreamcast was ahead of it’s time (time of release being summer ’98) and with graphics comparing to rivals like the xbox and ps2, this playstation one rival was an ass kicker from the getgo. Along with the advent of DC linux, boot hacks, game hacks, etc, There was a billion and one accessories and add ons for the little console that could….including of course, the DC zip drive (remember, this was back in a time when cd burning was timely and expensive, dvd burning literally unheard of, and zip drives offered 100 megabytes for little under $10) It’s purpose? Store games, gamesaves, and whatever else you could possibly get your paws on. The device attached to the bottom of the initial DC and sat cleanly underneath. Absolutely awesome! (reminds me of the good old famicom disk drive days….le sigh)

My point is, and there was a point, that the dreamcast zip drive only existed once. That’s right, only one was EVER made, and YOU KNOW it made itself onto ebay (it sure did, for a starting bid of $10,000)
Problem is, no software or games were ever made for it, so it was literally a useless, very EXPENSIVE, useless gadget.

I feel I should mention that there are online communities out there dedicated to the dreamcast in it’s entirety, Including those who have taken games for the DC that weren’t finished because Sega (again, retarded monkeys, down’s syndrome) dropped the dreamcast without warning, and actually finished those games, releasing them only on the internet (illegally, of course)
So I am seriously hoping that whomever won said ebay auction uses this formerly useless gadget to clone or produce more as well as software for it…Cause I want one. Bad.

Final thought.

Perhaps if video game corporations would take a look at how much money there is in vintage consoles they’d stop trying to make the next bigger/badder/best console. Honestly? I was happy with xbox.The graphics are fine for video games (cause I don’t care if the blood is in 1080p or whatever, it’s a video game) And dreamcast rocked my world.
That being said, Perhaps video game companies should actually finish what they start instead of leaving console junkies like myself stranded in the wake of their modern day abortions.
Shame on you, video game corps of the past, present and future.

(Also, I love you so much muffin for reading this whole thing cause I know you’re the only one that actually did <3)