04/30/2011

   MARCH….I’m in a funk. Life is going well, but some things have come up to taint my happiness per usual.  I am filing for bankruptcy, I met with the lawyer today and I’m scared of it, but I know it is for the best. Everyone in my life that knows my situation agrees. 

  Went to take Baby B to get his shots today and found out there is something wrong with the growth of his neck..I guess its sort of slanted. I have to be referred to a specialist and if it’s serious enough, there would have to be surgery done. Most kids with this cant or dont look both ways, but he does, which is why I never notived it.LATER IN MARCH…BUT STILL MARCH…/////this was actually started a while back but I was emotionally not ready to face it and post it. I went to see the specialist for the first time today, and things were pretty emotional…he has to do some stretches and therapy workouts…(well, I do, have to do it to him…poor kid) and honestly I’m scared of this. It depends on me whether ir not my child will grow into a normal, symmetrical little boy…his face shape is slightly off because of the pressure that the muscle being tight puts on his neck. 

TODAY…been trying to go through baby Bs therapy and have seen some improvements but he will still probably have to end up wearing a hemet to make sure his face grows at the same proportional rate. I have to make a phone call early Monday morning to try and figure out the next step to take. I went to this liquidation sale today, and ended up finding this imac g5 all in one pc, and honestly I have always wanted a mac but they are so pricey I never could get one. They had the 1.8ghz 80gb hard drive 1 gb ram there for 299, and after doing alittle research decided to buy it , and altho its an older model I liked it. It does seem to run much nicer than  a windows pc, and i have a rather new laptop.  I am sort of sad that i spent the money on something older rather than newer and top of the line, i mean who the hell would buy a pc with a 80gb hard drive these days? But I dont think I would ever actually fill it up seeing as I only do normal web browsing and dont download movies etc. I like to have music and stuff but i usually delete it off my computer and put it straight on my ipod. 

Which brings me to the question…can I find a place that will let me download music safely that I do not have to pay for? I use frostwire on my laptop and personally i worry that if i put that on this imac it would be a bad idea. And I heard a lot about torrents but i know nothing about them and would be lost as where to start. hmm i will have to do some looking and asking around. 

I am also torn while looking for the perfect tattoo design idea for what will cover the stretch marks on my tummy. I never thought I would tattoo there but I dont like the way the marks look, and since i do not want to have anymore children I think it would be ok to cover them. Some ideas were two swallows and two roses, with a little banner but i feel that i have seen that just too many times before. And then another idea was just adding some more stars to the ones I already have but these would be just all black and white and grey scale, no color, and then all different sizes sort of randomly placed to hide what needs to be hidden but still have a bulk of uncovered skin. Who knows,  i just know I want it done like..YESTERDAY! haha. 

Well, now that I have a nice desktop (hopefully someone names Liam will not tell me what a mistake I made for buying this)

I will probably enjoy updating more. Something about the laptop but I just hated typing on it. I think desktops are much more appealing to me.