Empty

SONG: Take That – Another crack in my heart.http://www.youtube.com/watch

During a meeting today, and just thought what am I doing here? Why am I here. All I want to do is have a family.

I don’t want to be here in a meeting working for a company that is Ethically wrong, discussing things that I can’t talk about in here.

The days are gone, where I used to go things that were glamorous, working in entertainment.. I miss it. I thought about people who are my age, who are CEO’s, head of Marketing Teams.

My High school friends who have successful careers, meanwhile my 5 years of job hopping has gotten me nothing to show for it. I have not gotten promoted since I left London.

I am forever trying to fill this hole. This emptiness of life.

Nothing fills it…. Not work that’s for sure.

I have girlfriends who say that if I was married and had children I would be thinking how much I missed my single life. Perhaps. But at least I would be able to say I have that. And I am not alone.

I set up Nikki on a blind date, with another friend of a friend. His name is ROB (Nickname) hansom Rob.

He’s one of the most good looking guys I have ever seen, And Nikki stunning. When I go out with her, men actually stop what they are doing and stare at her.  I have never had that. I have never had the feeling of men looking at you.. It must feel so amazing. It must make you feel so beautiful.

Anyways- good looking people should go out with good looking people. Perhaps they will hit it off. Another friend said to me why do I keep doing this? Why do I set other people up, when I have been single for almost 5 years.

 That’s easy, I do it because It makes me happy.. When my friends are happy I am happy..

I am happy..

But kind of sad I fear that will not ever be me!