conflict of interest?

Here’s the background.

One of the young women in our office (I think she’s 25) has a part-time job coaching gymnastics. Her 2nd job is at least an hour away and she goes there 2 or 3 evenings a week plus Saturdays. During her lunch, she will sometimes sit in our kitchen and work on little jobs related to her coaching.

Her manager is my friend. I’m not sure why she is so upset that this young woman has this 2nd job, but it really bugs her. And I mean REALLY bugs her. She was complaining to me the other day.

I asked if it was affecting her performance here, which it is not.

My friend said “Boss pays her to work here. She shouldn’t be working on other things during her lunch hour”.

I said “Boss doesn’t pay her to work for us during her lunch hour. What’s the difference if she sits and works on a project for her other job or, like me, plays on facebook?”

I mean. Really.

She said “When I worked for *insert name of really big corporation here*, I wasn’t allowed to have a second job.”

I answered “Well, when I worked for the federal government, I COULD have a 2nd job, but it needed to be approved to ensure it wasn’t a conflict of interest. Her 2nd job is in no way a conflict of interest. She can do whatever she wants on her lunch hour. As long as she is doing her job adequately, I really don’t think we can insist she quit – and, frankly, I don’t think we should.”

The woman who was complaining is the one whose 23 year old daughter just graduated from university … lives in an exclusive condo … drives a BMW … goes on a trip with friends every few months … wears designer clothes and jewellery … but has never really had a job. She is fully funded by her parents.

My children, however, have had to work while going to school. Both Lara and Erin worked full-time hours while going to school. Lara has usually juggled 2 (and sometimes 3) jobs to make ends meet (ah, culinary!) I think the fact that our employee is doing this (and she loves the kids she coaches) so she can pay her own way is commendable.

I know I complain about this friend a lot on here. It’s not that I envy her situation at all (she’s the one who just sold her house for 1.67 million dollars …). I believe our role is to raise self-sufficient children … which mine are (besides the occasional handout from their mother). It’s that she can’t see how she lives. She has criticized my children when I’ve mentioned they’ve asked for money from me. The time that Lara was struggling so badly and I told her I’d switch cars with her (I’d take on her car payment, but I got her car and she would get my old Cobalt), my friend said “Well, that’s a pretty sweet deal!”. But … your kid drives a friggen BMW that you pay for!!

…. ohoh, now you’ve got me going …

So, this BMW driving daughter (who is truly a lovely young woman) met a young man while she was on one of her trips to Vegas. He was here for the last 3 weeks. Seems he has a similar lifestyle to her – must be fully funded by his parents because obviously neither of them work since they were able to spend every waking hour together while he was here. (proof positive that like attracts like!)

That’s isn’t real life for most of us, is it?

And I honestly to not envy my friend or her life. Not one bit. But, I resent that she is always complaining about what she DOESN’T have … or criticising others (like our hard working employee) for doing whatever it takes to be able to get what she wants.

* * * * *

I’m actually trying to get my resentment under control. I think that is the most negative emotion I have … not usually angry … rarely jealous … just resentful.

Resent my friend as per the above.

Resent my sister because she is everyone’s favourite while being dishonest and phoney. I am honest and sincere, but have never been anyone’s favourite.

hmmmm.

Those are the two biggies I’m dealing with right now.

* * * * *

Remember the family with the addict daughter? The father is a pothead … who got his son into pot and he quickly became a pothead like his dad?

Well, the son was successful in getting off the stuff for a few months, but last week the dad sent him on a drug run to get him some stuff from one of his friends.

One thing led to another, and now pothead father’s son is, once again, a pothead.

Talk about an addictive family. Holy crap. He meets up with his friends and can’t say no … and *poof* he’s back to struggling trying to get off the crap.

Thankfully it’s just pot (or at least that’s all I’ve been told about). Imagine if any of them try crack or crystal meth (or whatever the street drug of choice is).

You just want to shake that father and say ‘what the hell is wrong with you’.

My ex was like that … except he was supplying the kids’ friends with their shit. Thankfully my kids said “I don’t want to smoke dope with my dad” and they all ran (not walked) in the opposite direction.

I only know about the pothead father because his wife talks to me about it. He keeps it well hidden and is a relatively well respected man in the community.

He doesn’t know I know what a loser he is.

I wish I didn’t!

* * * * *

When I’m done this, I’m going to finish up my kitchen (I just took a break to eat my tomato sandwich) and then rearrange my living room. I think it’s about time I hung my beautiful picture that has been leaning against the wall for the last several weeks.

I don’t like rearranging furniture because I just don’t have any sense of style. I suppose it doesn’t matter since I live alone and never have people over to my house. I can just set it up however I like and not care if anyone else likes it!

Good attitude.

I’m going to try to adopt it!!

* * * * *

* I WISH YOU WELL! *