Getting desperate?

Dear Diary,

That time of year is coming up.  Yes, Valentine’s Day, whoo-hoo.  Whether you’re for or against it, it usually affects me just a bit.  This year is even more important, because I have tickets to a show in March, I really need to find a date by then.  It’s been pathetic for me lately, I’ve been in the gay.com chatroom this whole week.  I just don’t know.  The local gay bar doesn’t work, online doesn’t work.  I just feel like I’m at my whit’s end sometimes.

Recently I’ve reached out to more users on MySpace for 20’s Together.  So now I have some of these guys on my MySpace IM.  It sucks, most of them are in relationships.  I’m tired of people talking about loving yourself, ’cause having a real, living and breathing person is what I really want.  I do love myself, but it’s just too hard to find people in Cleveland.  PRIDE is in June, and I know I fool myself most years thinking that year will be the year I find someone.  I’m just tired of being alone.  This February will be my fourth year of being alone.  And I was soo close the other night of thinking of asking a strange guy into my house to fool around with.  It’s a crazy thought and I was really close of doing it.  HELP!!