Today

I’m trying not to judge my day-to-day life.  I feel so much anxiety over meeting my expectations.  Always judging.  Was that good enough?  Did I completely fuck that up?  Does that person still think I’m okay, or did they just lose all respect for me? 

It occurs to me that in order to stop judging efforts as failures, I’ll have to stop judging efforts as successes too.  Nicely Taoist.  "When you call something beautiful, you make something else ugly."  So.  Today was neither a failure nor a success.  It was just today. 

 

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June 27, 2009

I don’t agree. Why can’t everything be beautiful? 🙂 I understand the concept of that though. But there are ugly things in the world, to be sure. I’ve found, though, to move away from the fear of being judged, you have to stop judging things yourself. maybe that’s what you just said. haha. i don’t know, my brain go boom.