Alienation

I’m kinda tired tonight, so forgive me if I end up not making any sense.  I’m still feeling kinda depressed, bleak.  I think what I’m experiencing is alienation.  Somehow I can’t find anything interesting to discuss with people.  Nothing to do that’s worth my effort.  No niche, no place where I am needed.  It seems I have become superfluous.  Not redundant… superfluous. 

And I still don’t feel any improvement in my health.  Maybe the channel got it wrong, I don’t know.  I’ve been doing the exercise pretty much daily, and I was told that healing was possible, and was in fact my life task.  But no improvement as yet.  Maybe it takes longer, maybe I’m not doing it right.  Or maybe the channel got it wrong. 

I went out last night for Nick’s birthday.  Dinner at a restaurant with about a dozen of his friends.  I really enjoyed it, but today I’m exhausted.  That’s the way it goes. 

It feels like I’m not learning anything new.  None of my friends have anything new to say.  Not that I don’t want to talk to them, just that I want something more. 

There is no opportunity to apply myself to anything involving others without invitation.  Otherwise, I can see how something might be improved, I can see what I’d like to do with it, but it’s just none of my business.  Right now the whole world feels like none of my business.