The real pain of rejection, pt 2

The simple answer seems to be, "Just let go!"  Let go of the compulsion to be liked.  It sounds sensible.  The question is, what next?  What sort of relationship does one carry on with those who disapprove?  My brother and sister answer that question equally simply.  A minimal relationship.  They have as little to do with my parents and grandmother as possible.  Living at home, nonetheless they see less of our parents than I do. 

Could I do it?  Should I do it?  Am I avoiding the inherent grief in accepting such a thing?  Am I afraid of loneliness?  These are the only people I see face-to-face on a regular basis.  The answer seems to be "yes to all".  It’s toxic, it really is, this situation. 

I have a question for myself.  Am I the only one making an effort here?  Am I the only one trying to find common ground?  I think I am.  And while the disapproval between myself and my parents seems to be mutual, I think I’m the only one looking for approval.  I can’t handle this.  I can’t keep living like this. 

Maybe I’ve been trying to get too comfortable.  I mean, if I was settling in here for a life of chronic illness and dependency; if I was planning to live within hailing distance of my family for the rest of my life, then getting them to like me might be a move crucial to the success of that life.  Perhaps I should start seriously considering my chronic illness a temporary condition.  A fine idea, but I’d like to see some physical improvement. 

Should Saturn in Leo Fourth be interpreted as the conservation of popularity in the family?  The family, the home, the private life.  If I can’t ditch the need, perhaps it’s time I found a new "family". 

(Gosh I need an astrology book that describes signs in houses!)

How does one go about psychologically ditching a family, I wonder?  Perhaps it’s really about shifting one’s needs from the external to the internal.  From a need for the family’s love, to a need for self-love.  Though I tend to think these psychological astrologers who dismiss physical needs are being unrealistic.