Bad to worse – or better?
PMS kicked in two days ago in a force of fury. At first I felt more frustrated and pissed off than I’d felt in months, maybe years. Then as I relaxed into it I felt liberated. Dynamic, capable, decisive. In a way, I’d like to be this way all the time.
Strangely, things seem to be conspiring to piss me off. Anna sent me 10 pairs of garish second-hand socks for no particular reason, and expects gratitude. Dave started sending 5-6 emails a day, and is being whiny and insulted since I asked him to quit it. Mum gave me a lift to the doctor the other day, and then kept me waiting for about an hour while she shopped at the sales, telling me all the while that she’d be there any minute. Waiting I can handle. People backing out of agreements I will live with. But people being dishonest about it I can’t abide. I would have prefered to spend an hour walking to the station than an hour waiting for someone who said they’d be there 10mins ago.
I’m ignoring Dave for now. I think it might be best to leave conflicts until I’m less pre-menstrual. On the positive side, at least I feel like I finally have some drive. I went to the gym yesterday, for the first time in three months. And I realised how much time I was spending online, and how unsatisfying it was. And the dizziness has finally subsided enough (I think!) to drive. Perhaps my life is ready to turn a corner.
I know what you mean, spending too much time online. You don’t realise how much until you’ve realised it’s taking over your life!
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