Baugh!

Oh, how weak I’ve become.

I’ve just reread some entries from four years ago. They were so full of… of LIFE! The essence of being alive! And now… and now my journal is empty. Text on a page, filler.

I am content, not because I am satisfied, but because I am empty. I am failing to occupy space it would seem. Baugh.

I want to write more, but I feel this resistance. I think the resistance is that lack of substance. I feel altered, unreal, as I reread myself from just a few years ago. I find I am suddenly not amused by the progress of this writing experiment.

No, the experiment is a success. I find that suddenly I don’t like the conclusions it forces me to draw.

And then, I find an unsigned note (though I suspect Incomplete Angel) which schools me firmly in the moment:

Step 1: Stop lucid dreaming

Step 2: Stop over-analyzing

Step 3: Go lie down on the hood of your car in the middle of a field

Sandy Mermaid

July 6, 2005

Do step 3 again and again…. :o) *hugs*

When you do it I expect a complete entry on the state of clouds *wink* Actually sounds like pretty good advice to me for at least some of the time.

Gwyn's Mama

July 7, 2005

Sounds like a really good idea. One would think in Indiana there would be no shortage of fields to go to, but alas fields are usually owned bt someone. Maybe ill settle for floating around in the pool. I feel the emptiness too, my friend.

PenguinsWalkAmoungUs

Make sure the car isn’t moving when you’re lying on the hood. ‘Twould be bad. Don’t ask me to explain how I know that; that is all ye know and all ye need to know. Huzzah!

July 8, 2005

RYN: I’d like to see your pictures–compare and contrast, see how your gates of Hell stack up to mine. Huzzah!

Written Insanity

Everyone goes through those spells, although I don’t think your unfull of life. I agree with the advice though. Relax and enjoy.

OOO No … I haven’t un fave’d ya I promise!!! … Every so often I go through and private a bunch of stuff. I did the last as well coz ppl were having trouble with it. Looked fine here but I suspect the pics musta gone huge at some resolutions??? Funny enough you nearly got an email this morning coz I woke up and you were on my mind. ***HUGS*** sorry for the confusion.

and you know what ****BIG HUGS**** for being you. Thanx for asking and not just quietly going away. Thats a wonderful thing to do. I knew I liked who you are.

BlueHooves

July 12, 2005

Funny, I fell the same way about what I used to write in my journal a few years back…hence the reason I started anew. I thought I might be able to get some of that life back. It isn’t working so far. But I’ll keep yah posted. The muse can’t be too far, can it?